SDJW columnist, defending his bubbe’s honor, challenges his editor’s wife to a juried mandelbread tasting contest
By Bruce Kesler
ENCINITAS, California — San Diego Jewish World‘s Editor/ Publisher Don Harrison is proud (or else must go on a diet, which Don’s supporters know he is incapable of) of his wife Nancy’s mandelbread, but ensured a favorable verdict by using his family – under the eye of Nancy – to taste Papa Ben’s Kitchen mandelbroyt and pass judgment. That’s what I call a fixed election.
This country cannot tolerate a fixed election.
Although Italians like their superdry biscotti, Jews perfected the tastier mandelbread to liberate Eastern Europe from turnipbread and Shabbat afternoons filled with more cholent stew. My bubbe, otherwise known as the Queen of the family, would never forgive me, nor would past generations of great Jewish bubbes, if I allowed this fixed election perpetrated by Don Harrison to go unchallenged. Queen bubbe’s were and – as passed down through the royal mandelbread line to me –still are the best.
I challenge Nancy Harrison to face an honest panel of blind judges. How will we find judges who are blind is our first challenge, but if the United States justice system is symbolized by a blind judge, then surely we can rise to our patriotic duty. The panel will taste Nancy’s mandelbread and then mine.
Some other rules must be agreed. Although the judges are blind, they must be capable of taste. The table should be rectangular, the judges sitting all on one side, and the judges sitting far enough apart so they can’t nudge each other above or below the table. Only one sip of water or, better, tea (no sugar or honey) may be taken between tasting each of the two mandelbreads.
The challenge is on. I’m ready to float like a matzo ball, sting like a horseradish.
Kesler is a freelance writer based in Encinitas. He may be contacted at email@example.com Will Nancy accept Bruce’s challenge–should she? We’ll find out in a future column.
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