By Rabbi Baruch Lederman
SAN DIEGO — Yaakov gathered his sons around and asked them if they would be true bearers of the faith. His son’s answered in unison, “ShmaYisroel Hashem E-lo-keinu Hashem Echad.” “Here, O Israel, The L-rd our G-d, Hashem, the One and Only.” (Yaakov was alsoknown as Israel). This moved Yaakov and he responded, “Baruch Shem Kivod Malchuso Liolom Vaed.” “Blessed is the Name of His glorious kingdom forever.” The desire to please and honor our parents is ingrained in the Jewish people as the following true stories illustrate:
A Jerusalem woman cared for her aging father. She juggled the many responsibilities she had to her own growing family to make sure that she could take care of her father and nurse him through a variety of illnesses. One day, the old man, seeing the strain this placed on her, asked her to return home. “If you wish to honor your father, if you truly have my honor in mind, I beg you to go,” he said.
Reluctantly, she did.
That night, the father passed away. The daughter was inconsolable, blaming herself for having abandoned him and feeling she had caused his death.
Reb Aryeh Levine of Jerusalem heard the woman’s story and sought to calm her fears. “Even if you had remained at his bedside, he would have passed away,” he gently explained. “A person’s years are granted from Heaven. No one lives a moment beyond his time. Had you remained with him in spite of his insistence, you would have felt twice as bad – you would be kicking yourself that you did not fulfill the mitzvah of kibbud av, and further, you would still blame yourself for his passing, believing that his anguish over your refusal might have hastened his death. This way at least you know that you listened to his last wish! You know you gave him that honor and pride.”
~
HoRav Henoch Leibowitz grew up in abject poverty. His father started one of the first Yeshivos in America in 1933. There was very little support of Torah in America in those days and the great depression made things even worse. When his shoes had holes in them he would continue to wear them without telling his father. Young Reb Henoch realized that his father had no money to buy new shoes. He knew it would break his poor father’s heart not to be able to buy proper shoes for his beloved only child. He would rather wear the old shoes in cold wet weather than cause his father anguish.
*
Dedicated by Andy & Mazal Levin in memory of his grandmother Sophie Hirsch.
*
Rabbi Lederman is spiritual leader of Congregation Kehillas Torah in San Diego. He may be contacted at baruch.lederman@sdjewishworld.com