By Rabbi Baruch Lederman
The following illuminating excerpt from Season of Life, published by Simon & Schuster, was submitted to ShulWeek by Josh Lintz, Kew Gardens Hills, NY: In today’s excerpt – as reported by Pulitzer Prize winning author Jeffrey Marx, Gilman High School in Maryland has an unusual and highly successful football team. And its coaches have a few unusual rules — such as an ironclad rule that no Gilman football player should ever let another Gilman boy — teammate or not — eat lunch by himself. And the requirement that players constantly base their thoughts and actions on one simple question: What can I do for others?:
“What happened that first day at Gilman [High School] was entirely unlike anything normally associated with high school football. It started with the signature exchange of the Gilman football program — this time between [head coach] Biff [Poggi] and the gathered throng of eighty boys, freshmen through seniors, who would spend the next week practicing together before being split into varsity
and junior varsity teams.
“‘What is our job?’ Biff asked on behalf of himself, Joe, and the eight other assistant coaches.
“‘To love us,’ most of the boys yelled back. The older boys had already been through this routine more than enough times to know the proper answer. The younger boys, new to Gilman football, would soon catch on.
” ‘And what is your job?’ Biff shot back.
‘To love each other,’ the boys responded.
“I would quickly come to realize that this standard exchange — always initiated by Biff or [defensive coach] Joe [Ehrmann] — was just as much a part of Gilman football as running or tackling.
” ‘I don’t care if you’re big or small, huge muscles or no muscles, never even played football or star of the team — I don’t care about any of that stuff,’ Biff went on to tell the boys, who sat in the grass while he spoke. ‘If you’re here, then you’re one of us, and we love you. Simple as that.’ …
” ‘I expect greatness out of you,’ Biff once told the boys. ‘And the way we measure greatness is the impact you make on other people’s lives.’
“How would the boys make the most impact? Almost anything Biff ever talked about could be fashioned into at least a partial answer to that question.
“For one thing, they would make an impact by being inclusive rather than exclusive.
“The boys would also make an impact by breaking down cliques and stereotypes, by developing empathy and kindness for all.
” ‘What’s empathy?’ Biff asked them. ‘Feeling what?’
“‘Feeling what the other person feels,’ said senior Napoleon Sykes, one of the team captains, a small but solid wide receiver and hard-hitting defensive back who had already accepted a scholarship to play college football at Wake Forest.
“That was the whole idea behind Biff and Joe’s ironclad rule that no Gilman football player should ever let another Gilman boy — teammate or not — eat lunch by himself.
” ‘You happen to see another boy off by himself, go sit with him or bring him over to sit with you and your friends,’ Biff said. ‘I don’t care if you know him or not. I don’t care if he’s the best athlete in the school or the so-called nerd with his head always down in the books. You go get him and you make him feel wanted, you make him feel special. Simple, right? Well, that’s being a man built for others.’
“How else would the boys make an impact?
“Ultimately, Biff said, the boys would make the greatest overall impact on the world by constantly basing their thoughts and actions on one simple question: What can I do for you?
” ‘Because in case you haven’t noticed yet, we’re training you to be different,’ Biff said. ‘If we lose every game of the year, go oh-and- ten on the football field, as long as we try hard, I don’t care. You learn these lessons, and we’re ten-and-oh in the game of life.’ ”
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Rabbi Lederman is spiritual leader of Congregation Kehillas Torah in San Diego. He may be contacted via baruch.lederman@sdjewishworld.com