By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO―The United States captured Abu Khattala, the alleged leader of the attack on the American embassy in Benghazi. Although the Obama administration plans to try him in a federal court, many Republicans advocate sending him to Guantanamo. After all, nothing epitomizes American justice better than a military commission held in secret in a facility where inmates can be held indefinitely without a trial.
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Dick and Liz Cheney lambasted President Obama’s weak foreign policy and founded a new non-profit think tank called the Alliance for a Strong America to formulate policies that will restore the standing of the United States around the world. If it is denied non-profit status, they will transform it into a commercial enterprise called Wars R U.S.
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General Motors recalled another three million of its vehicles this year bringing their total for the year to over seventeen million. If it identifies more defects in its cars, it is expected to recall the factories that manufactured them.
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The Washington Redskins had its trademark revoked because it is offensive to Native Americans. Though the team’s owner boasts he will never change its name, he quietly has hired publicists to coin a name that resembles the current one but is less politically incorrect. So far they have proffered two suggestions: the Ruddy Dermas and the Reservationists.
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Starbucks announced it will subsidize the cost of its employees to get their BA degrees from Arizona State University’s online program. Rumor has it has that Starbucks executives think BA stands for Barista Artisan.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.