Humoring the Headlines: October 7, 2014

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron
Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO─ Vice-President Joe Biden accused Saud Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, and Turkey of aiding and abetting jihadist groups fighting against Assad in Syria. He was reprimanded by President Obama for his undiplomatic behavior of telling the truth to allies.

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The Chairwoman of the High Point University College Republicans in North Carolina ordered a group trying to register students on the campus to vote to stop their effort because she didn’t want “any voting registration happening on this campus with students.” She contended that any place where the merits of candidates are debated rationally constitutes a hostile atmosphere for Republican candidates.

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The Supreme Court refused to hear any of the appeal cases of reversals of state laws banning the marriage and thereby embraced the Congressional strategy of doing nothing.

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As the United States faces the threat of Ebola, it lacks a Surgeon General to formulate policy to contain the epidemic at home and abroad. On the other hand, the city of Dallas has employed Service Master to remove infected bedding and garments from the apartment of the Dallas man stricken with Ebola and plans to delegate the monitoring and quarantining of potential Ebola carriers to Minute Clinic.

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The search for Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 on the bottom of the Indian Ocean has resumed. So much has been learned about the ocean’s seafloor in the hunt for the lost flight that Malaysia Airlines is selling all its planes and purchasing a fleet of bullet submarines to provide underwater commuter service from Malaysia to Africa and Australia.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.