Humoring the headlines: Campaign Nursery Rhymes

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron
Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO–Following are some nursery rhymes for Campaign 2016

Hillary, Billary, Doc 
This time there’s no Barack.
You’ll take the heat
But not defeat.
Unless Warren joins the flock.
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Sing a song of Ted Cruz
His campaign has begun.
One of many schnorrers
From Sheldon Adelson.
Bibi’s right, Barack’s wrong.
Protect the one per cent
Abolish the IRS!
Shut down the government!

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Marco nimble, Marco shrill                                                                                                                                  Marco backed off his own bill.
No reform, it must wait                                                                                                                                  Leave Illegals to their fate.

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Just what we need another Bush.
Another Bush, another Bush.
Herbert and Walker left us bushed.
And that should be a warning.
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Walker, Walker, rising star.
Should we wonder who you are?
Busting unions, defund schools
Following Kochs’ fiscal rules.
Walker, Walker, rising star.
We know exactly who you are.
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Rick and Mike, what makes you tick?                                                                                                              Homophobic rhetoric.
Religious freedom that’s your cry                                                                                                                             And gay marriage you’d deny.
What are you so fearful of?                                                                                                                                     Sanctifying same sex love.

*

Christie, Christie, be wary
Of the red state primary.                                                                                                                                           You embraced the President.                                                                                                                                     You should have been more hesitant.                                                                                                                       Christie, Christie falling star
You’re too liberal as you are.

Rand Paul, Rand Paul, Ayn Rand man                                                                                                            You’re reversing all your stands.
Defender of the private voice.
Not abortion or spousal choice.
Once an isolationist,
Now an interventionist.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com .  San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.