Humoring the headlines: October 12, 2015

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron
Laurie Baron

MARGATE, New Jersey‒ Rupert Murdoch stirred up controversy when he tweeted that he wished Ben Carson’s candidacy well because he would be a “real black president.”  He clarified his remarks by stating that he meant to say a “real American Christian black president.”

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Ben Carson claimed that the Holocaust would never have happened if Europe’s Jews had guns.  Or as a spokesperson for the NRA put it, “The only thing that can stop an evil dictator with an army, air force, and navy equipped with advanced weaponry is a bunch of Jews with handguns and rifles.”

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In response to two more college campus shootings this week, President Obama has decided to rerun the video of his comments about the Oregon community college shooting substituting new names of schools whenever such shootings occur in the future.

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A customer with a concealed gun shot at a shoplifter in a Home Depot.  This might have been justified if the incident could be classified as a Home Depot Invasion or if it happened at a Target store.
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Two investigators for a Cleveland grand jury determined that the police officer who shot and killed twelve year-old Tamir Rice acted reasonably because he could not tell the difference between a real gun and the fake one the boy brandished.  Upon hearing of this, children of Cleveland police officers started surrendering toy guns at police stations throughout the city.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  Currently serving as the Ida E. King Distinguished Visiting Professor of Holocaust Studies at the Richard Stockton College in Galloway, New Jersey, he may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com   San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.