Humoring the Headlines: February 7, 2016

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron
Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO─Chris Christie has been taunting Marco Rubio for being the “boy in the bubble” who evades answering tough questions by giving scripted answers.  Although Rubio was true to form in this Saturday’s Republican debate, he must have wanted to snap back at Christie and exclaim, “And you’re the man who ate the bubble!”

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Donald Trump accused Ted Cruz of putting out a false press release that Ben Carson had dropped out of the presidential race to mislead Carson’s supporters into switching their votes to Cruz.  Cruz denied there was any deception commenting that he based the memorandum on his observations of Carson’s performances in recent Republican debates.

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Boko Haram has killed more people in the past year than ISIS.  So why aren’t the Republicans proposing to carpet bomb the jungles and turn them from green to flaming orange? Could they believe that black lives don’t matter?

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The World Health Organization declared the Zika virus spread by mosquitos in tropical climates a pandemic and has warned women of child bearing ages to avoid those areas.  Women who quickly skimmed over the announcement booked flights to tropical countries under the impression that Zika is new form of dancercise.

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A Starbucks in Saudi Arabia has banned women.  It has veiled the face and hair of the woman on the coffee chain’s logo, placed an X over her image, and renamed its coffee drinks machoatos misogyochinos, and repressos.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com   San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.