Humoring the headlines: April 22, 2016

Passover Edition

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron
Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO –Basking in his New York primary victory, Donald Trump compared himself to Pharaoh. Both excel at massive building projects, but Trump would have made the Jews pay for the pyramids. Z

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Ultra-orthodox rabbis have decided that marijuana is kosher for Passover if smoked for medicinal purposes. After their announcement, sales of chocolate-covered matzah and macaroons tripled.

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Due to their busy campaign schedules, both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump passed over attending the Seders at the homes of their daughters.

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Despite much criticism from other countries, Bibi Netanyahu declared that the Golan Heights is part of Israel and will never be returned to Syria. He added that “never again will Israelis be forced to drink syrupy sweet wines for Passover

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A new progressive Haggadah recounts the story of Moses becoming so outraged when he witnessed an Egyptian beating a slave that he founded the Hebrew lives matter movement.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com   San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.