BOCA RATON, Florida — Jay M. “Poppa” Jacobson, of Boca Raton, Florida, and formerly of Minneapolis, Minnesota and Louisville, Kentucky died October 23, 2016 the day before his 82nd birthday.
Jacobson was born in Louisville. He earned a Bachelors Degree in Pharmacy from the University of Kentucky and a Masters Degree in Social Work from the University of Louisville’s Kent School of Social Work. Jacobson served in the U.S. Army from 1954-1961.
During the course of his working years he was a passionate fundraiser for the Jewish community including the Minneapolis Jewish Federation, U.J.A. and Sholom Foundation. In Florida he was also a member of Company “A”, a dynamic group of retired men who relished each other’s company and bonded over their shared experiences.
Jacobson’s legacy will live on in his family and in his dedication to the local and international Jewish Community.
Above all he loved his family. He was preceded in death by parents Abraham and Rose Jacobson. He is survived by his beloved wife of 44 years, Lorita K. Jacobson; daughters, Ilene (Scott) Stoess and Peggy (Joel) Mandel; grandchildren Emily (Chris) Leon, Kathryn (Doug) McDaniel, Alec Stoess, Aleeza and Margo Mandel; great-granddaughter Lily McDaniel; brothers Kenny (Betsy) Jacobson & Harry (Sherry) Jacobson-Beyer.
Funeral services will be Friday, October 28 in Florida.
Memorials are preferred to Sholom Foundation, 3610 Phillips Parkway, St. Louis Park, Minnesota 55426 or via www.sholomfoundation.com; Beth El Synagogue, 5225 Barry St W, St Louis Park, Minnesota 55416, or Beth Ami Congregation 1401 NW 4th Ave. Boca Raton, Florida 33432.
*
Preceding provided by the Jacobson family. San Diego Jewish World’s eulogy series is sponsored by Marc and Margaret Cohen in memory of Molly Cohen, and by Inland Industries Group LP in memory of long-time San Diego Jewish community leader Marie (Mrs. Gabriel) Berg.
The following eulogy was delivered Friday, October 28, 2016, by Harry Jacobson-Beyer at the funeral of his brother, Jay Jacobson:
Good morning. I am Harry Jacobson-Beyer. Jay was my brother.
Because of our age difference, 11 years, I only have a few memories of Jay from my childhood and I would like to share them with you today. These first two memories also involve Kenny, our middle brother who is four years younger than Jay. As youngest brothers often do, I idolized my older brothers. And here are a couple of reasons why.
When we would go swimming in the summer my brothers would watch me. I remember Kenny taking me up on the high diving board and I would jump off and Jay, who was treading water below, would gather me in his arms and take me to the pier and I would do it all over again. When I shared this story with our mother she told me I was only three years old.
Another time Jay and Kenny were baby sitting for me. I must have been 4 or 5. They shared a bedroom and I had my own room. Something frightened me so they tied a blanket to the four corners of their beds which were side by side and made a hammock for me so I could sleep with them.
Jay went into the Army in 1954 and was sent overseas. He returned to the states in 1956. When he arrived stateside he called home and after our mother spoke with him she handed me the phone. When I heard his voice I started crying. I had really missed my big brother and he was coming home.
Jay had his dark side too. Once he asked the 11 or 12 year old me to shine his tan leather shoes which I gladly did. There was no tan shoe polish so I used the next best thing, a can of oxblood polish. Jay went ballistic. Enough said.
After high school I went into the Navy and spent four years on an aircraft carrier in the Pacific. After I was discharged, our relationship changed. He became, not only my big brother, but also my friend. We interacted as adults. And it was at this point I began to look at myself as an adult member of the family, not just the kid brother.
In late summer 1971 shortly after the fall semester started at the University of Kentucky Jay called and said he was driving to Lexington to take me to dinner. When he arrived I was surprised that he had brought his girlfriend with him. She was dressed in a tight, thigh length leather skirt and knee high leather boots. It was Lorita and he wanted me to meet her. We had a lovely time at dinner. I have to admit I was oblivious and didn’t add two and two. A few weeks after that dinner he called and said he and Lorita were getting married on October 31st and would I come. Of course I went, but I wish he had checked the date with me first because I had to give up front row seats to a Blood, Sweat, and Tears concert.
When Sherry and I got married we combined our surnames into one, Jacobson-Beyer. Jay did not like that we had done so. We had a small wedding at Sherry’s family home. After the ceremony he asked me how much it cost to change my name. $50 I told him. He said, “give me a nickel.” Yes it was a command and not a request. I gave him a nickel and he handed me a check for $50, a wedding gift and said, I don’t ever want to be accused of having paid for your name change. It was years before he would ever acknowledge the change. But he didn’t love me any less.
Sherry and I adopted our son, Keith, when he was nine years old. Jay and Lorita embraced Keith as their own. When Keith was 10 or 11 he visited them in Minneapolis. He introduced him to his friends and, as only Jay can do, made him feel as if he were the center of his world.
When Keith started his career as a stock broker / financial planner Jay opened an account with him. He would often call Keith’s office and ask to speak to “his rotten, no good nephew.” Jay had a big heart and embraced my child as his for which I will always be grateful. He and Lorita were part of my child’s village.
Throughout my adult life, I would often encounter people who knew Jay and when they heard who I was they would say “Oh, you are Jay Jacobson’s brother. My standard reply has always been, “Yes Jay is my brother.” It’s a slight, but subtle difference. A striving to be my own person. But I am the person I am today, in no small part, because of Jay, and for that I am proud to say I am Jay Jacobson’s brother.
Joel Mandel, son-in-law of Jay Jacobson, wrote the following:
How fitting it is that when I woke up very early this morning and read an
article about the unveiling of the late president and prime minister of
Israel Shimon Peres, the current prime minister Benyamin Netanyahu is
quoted as saying Shimon walked among us as a beacon of knowledge
and curiosity with shining eyes filled with hopes and dreams. He left us
with one instruction – to establish a state that would not shame our
children nor disappoint our grand children. We will do everything, dear
Shimon, to make that happen”
Jay, you are like Shimon. You walked among us with a broad smile and
reminded us to have hopes and dreams. By our example, you reminded
us to make our world a bit better in everything that we do, so as not to
disappoint those that follow in our footsteps, and as we learned from
you, we will make that happen,
It’s about the stories, and I have a lot of them. It’s about the people, and
he touched too many to count. It’s about the family, and they adored him
as much as he adored them – but it started with him. He adored his
family, steadfastly.
When I met Peggy, and we got married three years later, I learned that
the term “in-law” with Jay was just words. Pretty much meaningless
words because when Peggy and I married, I gained a dad.
He always treated me and cared for me as he would child – although
from time to time he’d say something like “Joel, you ain’t blood”, show
me his broad and bright smile, and let out a small chuckle.
I learned about life from him. Mostly by what he did. He was kind, and
caring, tough when he needed to be, compassionate, committed,
stubborn, and focused. He LOVED life. Man, did he love life. So many
memories.
How about the time we took him to a hamburger joint for dinner and
then karaoke after, or just last year when Minnesota was playing in the
Orange Bowl in Orlando and in one day we drove to and from Boca to
see the game. Maybe it was the boys in the family fishing trip to
Canada, or the mystery lunches that we would share when he’d call me
or I’d call him and say “It’s mystery lunch day. I’m picking you up in 20
minutes and taking you on a mystery lunch.” Or maybe it was the time
that he and mom played a key role in helping me pull off a surprise
birthday party for Peggy.
And to know me, is to know that I love practical joking. In an email that a
friend wrote to me the other day, he said, “Joel, you always had a
wonderful way of complimenting him by imitating him.” Until I met Jay, I
never knew that the word hi had three syllables…(in Jay voice) “Hi”. Or
that the plural of many was y’a’ll – or that two phones, three faxes, six
scanners, 4 blue tooth ear pieces, 8 televisions and frequent flyer miles
on 68 airlines was still not enough for one person! Oh, and did I forget to
remind all of us that he had two homes…you get the picture!
He taught all of us the importance of family – both the Mandel and
Stoess families on many trips – not just because the trip would be fun,
but because the trip would strengthen our bonds to each other.
Passionate – there was no lack of passion. A passion and love of
Judaism, a love affair with Israel, and a professional career that is
intertwined with Jay the person – raising money for so many causes that
he committed himself to,
I was blessed – blessed because I had him as a “dad”, and blessed
because I had the chance to work side by side with him in Jewish
community fundraising. It was a priceless gift to work with him. It was
priceless to learn the profession – but mostly, it was priceless because I
spent time with him and strengthened our love for each other.
Tomorrow, let’s all whistle a tune, and remember Jay. He loved to
whistle. There is a saying that the farther you fall, the harder you land.
Well, the deeper you love, the more painful the loss. We have fallen
from a very high height. But we are so lucky that we could experience
uncountable heights with him.
I love you.
Ilene Stoess, Jay’s oldest daughter, delivered this statement:
Good morning.
On behalf of my mother and family thank you for coming today.
My name is Ilene, I am Lorita and Jay’s oldest daughter. As Jay would say his favorite oldest daughter, next to me is Peggy, Jay’s favorite youngest daughter.
I think we all will agree Jay was a force to be reckoned with.
The saying they broke the mold doesn’t even apply. I would say that there was no mold for our papa.
As a grandfather, there were very few in his league. The man went places no grandparent should or would want to go…like the inside of those plastic tubes at McDonald’s playland, not to retrieve a stuck child but to play with them, he put on plumbers knee pads an crawled around with those 5 beautiful, blessed children.
As a father and father-in-law he was always our champion, and for that Peg, Joel, Scott and I will beforever grateful.
As a husband; well…if it wasn’t inappropriate I would ask you all to stand and give my mother a standing ovation for her love, compassion and patience with Jay for 40 + years. What a team they were.
Jay you are loved .
You will be missed.
And papa you will not be forgotten!!