Parents, Big Pals, kids skate, celebrate Chanukah early

Valentina Sharabi, left, her daughter Sinaya; Jewish Big Pal Julie Tedde, and her daughter Celia practice the Chanukah blessings together at joint celebration of Jewish Big Pals and the Supporting Jewish Single Parents organization

By Donald H. Harrison

SAN DIEGO – For parents and mostly elementary school-aged children, Chanukah seemed to “roll” in early when Jewish Big Pals and the Supporting Jewish Single Parents (SJSP) organization celebrated together at Skateworld on Sunday morning, Dec. 18.

Many participants skated, staggered, stumbled and recovered in the 160 by 60 foot rink, and later they practiced lighting candles for the annual 8-day holiday which won’t officially commence until the evening of December 24th.

The two-hour get-together began with parents, children and their “Big Pals” sometimes looking as awkward in the rink as a shamash candle put into a hannukiah at an acute angle. But all concerned showed growing confidence as they roller skated around the rink for slightly more than an hour.

Following the skating, there were snacks, including cupcakes that were frosted by parents and children less inclined to try roller skating. Of course, there were also latkes — topped with either apple sauce or sour cream, or in some more adventurous cases, with both. Additionally there was a group “practice” candle lighting in which the third word in the traditional Chanukah blessing was changed from “Adonai” to “HaShem” because this was just practice, not an actual prayer.

Parents, children and Big Pals queue for Chanukah snacks

Both Supporting Jewish Single Parents and Jewish Big Pals are programs of Jewish Family Service, and the joint pre-Chanukah party reflected the fact that there is considerable overlap between the two. It is not unusual for single parents to reach out for help from the community to provide same-gender mentorship for their children, which is what Jewish Big Pals provides.

My grandson Sky and I had the opportunity to visit with Valentina Sharabi, her daughter Sinaya, 8; her Jewish Big Pal Julie Tedde, and Julie’s grown daughter Celia, who is now a music theatre and vocal performance student at Oklahoma City University.

Valentina, a native of Chile, told me that her Yemenite Jewish Israeli husband had died five years ago, at a time when Sinaya (named for Mount Sinai) was 3, and her older twin brothers were 11. The two boys recently completed the Big Pal program when they reached age 16, but their experiences were so positive that Valentina wanted the same opportunity for Sinaya.

She applied to Jewish Family Service for a Big Pal for Sinaya, while Julie, meanwhile, was completing the extensive evaluation process that Jewish Big Pals requires of all applicants. The process involves questionnaires, a series of intensive interviews, a criminal background check, a Department of Motor Vehicles check, and other steps to make certain the applicant is a stable person capable of being a positive mentor.

Julie had become familiar with the program through the many years that she participated as a single mom in the Supporting Jewish Single Parents program. She told me that because of the caring people she met through that program, and through Congregation Beth Israel, as well as through other Jewish communal programs, she had many resources while bringing up Celia, who blossomed as a soprano, and who has even served as a cantorial soloist at Beth Israel. Today, Celia is pointing herself toward a career in musical stage productions on New York City’s Broadway. As an alternative, she has in the back of her mind studying to become a cantor.

When Celia started college in another state, Julie decided it was time for her to give back to the San Diego community. So she applied for the Big Pal program and after going through the extensive process, was accepted. Sunday, in fact, was the first activity that she and Sinaya attended together, but they have many other twice-a-month activities planned, including “a library outing, a hike, a show that we are going to see together, and we have tickets for the Natural History Museum.”

A coincidence is that Sinaya and Celia celebrate their birthdays on the same day, and the two girls, though more than a decade different in ages, have hit it off. Said Celia: “I was just telling my mom it would be awesome if we (she and Sinaya) get to spend more time together.” Enthused Sinaya: “We have a lot in common!”

Asked what the Jewish Big Pal program means to her, Sinaya answered promptly: “It means for me more fun and more people to be with.”

A child having fun while an adult “gives back” is a fairly typical combination, I learned.

A fourth grader named Rami has been the Jewish Little Pal to Ben for two years and, according to Ben, each derives something special from the relationship. For Rami, it is the opportunity to have an older male in his life, someone who knows about guy things.

As for Ben, a data engineer, it is an opportunity to be a mentor to a child. He has nieces and nephews, but they live far away, and “it may be a long time until I have kids of my own!”

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Harrison is editor of San Diego Jewish World. He may be contacted via donald.harrison@sdjewishworld.com