Categorized | Baron_Lawrence, Lighter Side, USA

Humoring the headlines: February 13, 2017

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO−In a perfect world:

Kellyanne Conway, Sean Spicer, and President Trump would be wired to a polygraph whenever they made public statements.
*
Ruth Bader Ginsburg would be immortal.
*
Israel wouldn’t legitimize many formerly illegal settlements the day after it disbands one.
*
Three Republican senators would have voted against Betsy DeVos
*
A German court would not rule that setting a synagogue on fire is an excusable expression of anti-Israel sentiment.                                                                                       *
Ancestry.com will discover that Donald Trump’s ancestors entered the United States illegally.
*
Any god who claims to be omnipotent and omniscient would be gender neutral.                                                                                                            *                                  *
Breitbart.com would have to change its website address to Spiteheart.con                 *
The next oil pipeline in the United States will be built under a wealthy white gated community.
*                                                                   *
Elizabeth Warren will be elected the first woman president of the United States and Melissa McCarthy will be her running mate.
*
Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via [email protected]   San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.

 

 

 

 

Click here for reuse options!
Copyright 2017 San Diego Jewish World

One Response to “Humoring the headlines: February 13, 2017”

  1. Gadi Eshel says:

    Isn’t time, the selective “humor” objects (Israel, Jewish settlement, PM Netanyahu, President Trump, faithful America, faithful Zionists, …) stand up to their humorer, and shout, plain and clear: “the humorer is naked”!

    Gadi Eshel, Israel

Trackbacks/Pingbacks


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Please help us defray the costs of providing this free service with your non-tax-deductible contribution in any amount

Most recent 100 posts

Follow

Follow this blog

Email address