Humoring the headlines: March 13, 2017

The American Wealth Care Act

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO−The Congressional Budget Office projects that 14,000,000 people currently covered under Obamacare will lose their health care under the American Health Care Act by 2018.  Given the priorities of Paul Ryan and his House colleagues who crafted the bill, this is a good thing.  After all, the losers are the takers who don’t exercise and eat well and expect the taxpayers to pay for their bad habits.  Some of them are genetically defective, i.e. people with preexisting conditions.  The AHCA will cull the population of these parasites   Darwin was wrong about evolution, but not about survival of the financially and physically fittest.

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Children can remain on their parent’s policies until they are twenty-six, if their parents retain their policies.  Once these kids turn twenty-six, they could opt out of the insurance too. AKA Deconstructing the Nanny State.

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To avoid repeating the technological debacle that the website healthcare.gov had when it was rolled out, Trump plans to keep the website now that it is functioning in the hope that many will delete their current registration.

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The AHCA will remove funding for 1.3 million patients who have mental health or substance abuse problems, but don’t worry about them.  Those people can now legally purchase guns and kill themselves or each other.  Suicide and homicide decrease the need for long term care.

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The AHCA still must be passed by both houses of Congress.  As President Trump eloquently put it, “It’s a big fat beautiful negotiation and hopefully we’ll come up with something that’s going to be really terrific for us with money, superior genes, and young wives.”

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com   San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.