Humoring the Headlines: September 6, 2017

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO−What should the world do when the testosterone twins throw tantrums and start comparing the size and potency of their missiles?  As the Chinese say, erections have consequences.

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Before signing the Executive Order to rescind DACA, President Trump professed his love for the Dreamers and assured them he would handle their situation with heart.  If he tells Melania that he loves her with all his heart, she better hire a divorce lawyer as quickly as possible.

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Truth is funnier than fiction: Immigrant rights activists erected and tore down a statue of Attorney General Jeff Sessions because they consider him a living monument to the Confederacy.

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Were the negotiations to build a Trump Tower in Moscow linked to the Trump campaign’s collusion with Russia?  It does appear suspicious that the blueprints label the top floor the Putin Penthouse.

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Harvey dropped more rain than any other storm in US history; Irma packs the most powerful winds of any Hurricane emerging from the Atlantic Ocean.  Either Al Gore is right about the impact of global warming, or Donald Trump is right that everything that happens during his administration is greater than anything the world has ever seen.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.