Categorized | Baron_Lawrence, Lighter Side

Humoring the headlines: October 12, 2017

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO−The forest fires in Northern California have killed 23 people and destroyed 3,500 homes and businesses.  Even though it is not as bad as Katrina or Maria, why hasn’t President Trump visited to console the victims?  Unnamed sources say he looked at the electoral map and commented, “It’s so far and so blue.  I lost there because Mexican voters streamed into the state over the porous border.  I might hurt the victims if I toss them fire extinguishers.”


Harvey Weinstein has been fired from the Weinstein Company for years of flagrant sexual abuse and harassment of attractive actresses.  When asked by his colleagues, “What were you thinking?”  He replied, “I was planning to run for President and wanted to pad my résumé.”


Weinstein also excused his womanizing by stating, “I came of age in the Sixties and Seventies, when all the rules about behavior and workplaces were different.  That was the culture then.”  That alibi might work for Don Draper in the 1950s, but the 1960’s also spawned Second generation feminism and coined the terms sexism and male chauvinist pig.


Mike Pence walked out of an Indianapolis Colts game to protest how football players who kneeled during the national anthem had disrespected the flag and the anthem.  Though some critics believed his gesture was a political stunt, earlier that day he walked out of church when congregants disrespected God by kneeling during prayers.


President Trump threatened to revoke NBC’s broadcasting license for reporting fake news about him.  General Kelley tried to calm him down by promising to switch the order of the Bill of Rights so that the Second Amendment would become the First Amendment implying the right to purchase weapons is more important than freedom of the press.


Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via [email protected]. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.


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