Categorized | Baron_Lawrence, Lighter Side

Humoring the Headlines: November 8, 2017


By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO−President Trump sharply contrasted North Korean communism and South Korean capitalism in his speech yesterday.  North Korea is a dictatorial and impoverished hell.  South Korea is a prosperous paradise where Korean women can aspire to compete on one of his golf courses.


Responding to the mass shooting at a Texas church, President Trump commented, “Mental health is your problem here.  This isn’t a guns situation.”  He’s right.  Politicians act crazy when it comes to not banning semi-automatic weapons in the wake of mass shootings.


Twitter has expanded the length of tweets from 140 characters to 280.  Now Donald Trump can be twice as offensive and still have space to add exclamation points and derogatory epithets to his heart’s content.  Beyond 280 characters, however, he finds himself at a loss for words.


Senate Republicans are working to open oil exploration in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.  This progressive measure offers Polar Bears the opportunity to be trans-chromatic by changing the color of their fur from white to black.


Danica Roem became the nation’s first openly transgender elected official by defeating Robert Marshall, the author of Virginia’s failed bathroom bill.  During his concession call to her, she advised him to purchase Depends if he abhors the idea of using gender neutral washrooms.


Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via [email protected]. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.




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