Archive | Cohen_Joel_H.

‘Just Kidding’: Lawyers laud Trump for job creation

By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK– JLo, the Jewish Lawyers Organization – not to be confused with Jennifer Lopez, the actress – will honor President Trump and his administration for “incredible job creation,” namely for attorneys, many of them Jewish. A JLo official said: “Candidate Trump promised unbelievable strides in creating jobs. And now, President Trump […]

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‘Just Kidding’: Trump tries a Yom Kippur fast

By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK– To connect emotionally and politically with Jews everywhere, President Trump tried fasting on Yom Kippur this year. His decision to experience the nearly 27-hour ritual of self-denial came after aides discovered a highly controversial phrase in his first draft of a High Holy Day message to the Jewish community. The […]

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Fact- checking an old Jewish joke

By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK —  An old joke that’s resurfacing tells of a little boy coming home from school and excitedly telling his mother, “I got a part in the class play” “Great,” says his mom, “What character do you play?” “A Jewish husband,” the boy replied. “Well, you go right back and tell […]

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‘Just kidding’: Trump likes 2 High Holy Day customs

By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK–President Trump is so impressed with two Jewish customs described to him by his son-in-law, he’s urging even non-Jews to employ them. One of the pre-High Holy Day practices in question is tashlich, in which Jews symbolically cast their sins into flowing water with pieces of bread, usually on the […]

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As Judgment Day nears, let’s try being less judgmental

By Joel H Cohen NEW YORK — A popular old story tells of a Jewish woman on a New York City subway sitting next to a bearded man who’s wearing a black hat and long black clothing. After minutes of staring at the man, the woman can’t contain herself. “I don’t understand you people,” she […]

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‘Just kidding’: Trump’s Rosh Hashanah message

By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK — President Trump salutes the Jewish people and threatens “sackcloth and ashes” for any person or group that does harm to a Jewish individual or people. These themes emerged in the just-leaked first draft of the president’s prepared Rosh Hashanah message to Jews everywhere. He dedicates his remarks “to […]

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‘Just kidding’: Trump, Putin discuss ‘Fiddler,’ borscht

  By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK — Just revealed: borsht and a prospective U.S.-Russian production of Fiddler on the Roof were the main subjects discussed at the hitherto secret meeting between Presidents Trump and Putin at the G-20 meeting in Hamburg, Germany. Highlights of the session were released today by the Russian translator, the only […]

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Just Kidding: A Kohen’s life is not for sissies

By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK — Although it’s a tremendous honor serving as the conduit for divine blessing, and though Aaron, our founding father, is cited in prayer as a paragon of peace, being a Kohen is not for sissies. Sure, there are perks –we’re called for the first aliyah (even the first two, […]

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More bar than mitzvah?

By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK — The trio celebrated in so many jokes — a priest, minister and rabbi — were discussing a mutual problem: how to rid their respective houses of worship of a stubborn family of squirrels who’d taken residence there. The priest and minister had valid ideas, but the topper came […]

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Shadchan weddings: ‘Have I got someone for you!’

By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK — Ever since our patriarch Abraham dispatched a servant to find a wife for his son Isaac, arranged marriages have been a staple of Jewish life. (Isaac’s son Jacob did it on his own, and got two wives for just the price of 14 years of labor). From Biblical […]

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‘Just Kidding’: Trump conducts a presidential round table with synagogue leaders

By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK — President Trump, often criticized for failing to act “presidential,” has reluctantly taken the advice of his daughter Ivanka and son-in-law Jared Kushner and convened a telephone conference of five shul presidents for their suggestions. The presidents, four men and a woman, are from various parts of the nation […]

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‘Just Kidding:’ If Ruth’s Moabite family wrote to her

By Joel H. Cohen (A Shavuot highlight is the reading of the Book of Ruth, a remarkable widow who, rather than return to her native Moab and her own family, chose to stay with her mother-in-law and accompany her on her spiritual and physical journey, adopting her people and religion. How Ruth’s family reacted to that […]

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‘Just Kidding’: Trump drops Decalogue Day

By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK — Invoking his “great love” for his family, the Jewish people and Israel –“I can say the word now”  – President Trump planned to sign an executive order establishing a national Ten Commandments Day in honor of Shavuot. He wants to make the holiday “great again,” he said. But […]

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‘Just kidding:’ Talmudic doctrine could help Trump properties

By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK –Jared Kushner recently bounded happily into the Oval Office to share a plan he’d developed that he believed would protect Trump holdings from competition. He cited a controversy in Brooklyn, New York, involving two kosher pizza restaurants. The owner of the older, established restaurant contended that by moving across […]

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