Archive | Cohen_Joel_H.

‘Just Kidding’: Trump conducts a presidential round table with synagogue leaders

By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK — President Trump, often criticized for failing to act “presidential,” has reluctantly taken the advice of his daughter Ivanka and son-in-law Jared Kushner and convened a telephone conference of five shul presidents for their suggestions. The presidents, four men and a woman, are from various parts of the nation […]

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‘Just Kidding:’ If Ruth’s Moabite family wrote to her

By Joel H. Cohen (A Shavuot highlight is the reading of the Book of Ruth, a remarkable widow who, rather than return to her native Moab and her own family, chose to stay with her mother-in-law and accompany her on her spiritual and physical journey, adopting her people and religion. How Ruth’s family reacted to that […]

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‘Just Kidding’: Trump drops Decalogue Day

By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK — Invoking his “great love” for his family, the Jewish people and Israel –“I can say the word now”  – President Trump planned to sign an executive order establishing a national Ten Commandments Day in honor of Shavuot. He wants to make the holiday “great again,” he said. But […]

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‘Just kidding:’ Talmudic doctrine could help Trump properties

By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK –Jared Kushner recently bounded happily into the Oval Office to share a plan he’d developed that he believed would protect Trump holdings from competition. He cited a controversy in Brooklyn, New York, involving two kosher pizza restaurants. The owner of the older, established restaurant contended that by moving across […]

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‘Just kidding:’ Israeli to head FBI?

  By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK — President Trump is considering naming an Israeli to head the FBI, according to unidentified sources. The prospective nominee – nicknamed “Falafel” by Trump, presumably to preserve his anonymity – is reportedly a former member of Mossad, Israel’s secret intelligence service. While not confirming or denying the report, […]

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‘Just Kidding’: A Jewish fundraiser for the Wall

  By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK –Apparently frustrated with the inaction of what he called “pathetic, so-called Congress” on the wall he wants built between the United States and Mexico, President Trump has hired a Jewish fund-raising firm to conduct the drive for contributions to pay for it. Press secretary Sean Spicer said at […]

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‘Just Kidding’: Court rules chametz must be returned

  For background on this fanciful case, please see http://www.sdjewishworld.com/2017/04/19/just-kidding-he-wont-return-my-chametz/ By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK — In sharply contested decisions, the U.S. Supreme Court has just ruled in the celebrated Moe v Donald case (“he won’t return my chametz”) and several related matters, dating back to Pesach a year ago. By a 5-4 vote, the […]

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‘Just Kidding’: He won’t return my chametz

By Joel H. Cohen   NEW YORK — A complicated legal matter dating back to Pesach a year ago, and stemming from a non-Jewish man’s refusal to return a Jewish man’s chametz he bought through a rabbi, is making its way through various appeal courts.  it could reach the U.S. Supreme Court, legal experts say. Known in […]

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Haggadahs of happy memory

By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK — The approach of Pesach inevitably evokes a bundle of memories, as many related to haggadahs as to matzah-ball soup For instance, one year a long time ago, we were expecting a big crowd for the first seder that night. That morning (hate to leave things for the last […]

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‘Just Kidding:’ Trump to unveil new seder

By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK — President Trump is planning an “updated” seder, whose ancient writings will be modernized, and in which journalists and present and former staff members will play key roles Among those slated to ask the Four Questions are correspondents from Fox News, Breitbart,  Tass, and syndicated radio host Sean Hannity. When […]

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‘Just Kidding’: Like Samson, Trump cancels haircuts

By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK — President Trump, channeling Samson, has concluded that his own hair — “along with my inborn smarts and great deal-making ability” — is a main source of his strength. And, remembering that the Biblical champion lost his physical power when Delilah conspired to have his hair shaved off, the […]

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‘Who’ are you wearing at the Purim party?

  By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK — There may be more pressing reasons for concern out there, but right now we’re grappling with what to wear Purim night. If you think of the Megillah-reading as the Academy Awards, then you can logically regard the stairs or the pathway leading to the shul as the […]

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‘Just Kidding’: Purim treat is shaped wrong

By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK — A secret report of an Israeli archeological team, just uncovered by our investigative reporters, reveals that Haman wore an oval-shaped hat, not a three-cornered one. Consequently, hamantashen, the three-cornered pastry named for the tyrant and enjoyed for centuries by Jews and non-Jews alike, can no longer be considered authentic […]

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‘Just Kidding:’ Trump takes C.H.A.R.M. course

By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK — President Trump has completed the intensive behavior-modification course of the Jewish C.H.A.R.M School — an intervention institute dedicated to teaching Courtesy, Humility and Rage-Management to at-risk clients. The confidential, on-site organization, comprised of rabbis and Jewish psychologists and sociologists, uses Jewish writings (such as Pirkei Avot –the Ethics […]

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