In Silence: Growing Up Hearing in a Deaf World by Ruth Sidransky
By Sheila Orysiek
SAN DIEGO — In a lifetime of reading, a few special books have made an indelible impression upon me and this is certainly one of them. It took its place in my heart when I read it in 1990 and there it stayed. When the book was recently republished, I read it once again, with the same emotional response.
Ruth Sidransky’s parents were deaf and could not speak intelligibly. This well written biography tells of a Jewish family’s struggle at a time (1930’s) when this kind of impairment was thought to be synonymous with mental retardation and an easy target for derision. They were misunderstood, restricted to menial labor, under educated and cruelly snubbed. Just as the parents faced a daily battle to raise their two children, so, too, does Sidranky, in her effort to help her parents.
As the eldest child, she is not only the bridge between her parents and the hearing world but often finds herself in extraordinary circumstances. When a disgruntled neighbor sues the family and they are not able to afford an attorney, she at 15 years of age, courageously – and successfully – represents her parents in court.
Coming from a silent home, when Sidransky enters public school, her speech is unintelligible and her hand signs are regarded by the teachers as “cheating.” She is quickly placed in a class for the mentally retarded. Her mother, throwing aside her own fear of derision, protests. Luckily she finds a sympathetic school principal, convinces her that the child can hear normally and can be taught to speak correctly. The mother is advised to buy a radio so the child can learn to listen and respond to human speech.
Sidransky also struggles to come to terms with the impact her parents’ disabilities have upon her own life – long after childhood. The need for her constant vigilance in their behalf increases as they age. Because it was assumed by potential marriage partners that deafness might be genetic, she finds herself alone, bereft of the possibility of marriage and motherhood.
This book tore at my heart, but it also made me laugh through those tears. At the time that I first read it I was teaching ballet to a lovely profoundly deaf young woman who was working her way to Gaulaudet University. I learned far more from Emily than she ever did from me. I hope she hasn’t encountered the ignorance that so often plagues humanity.
On one occasion during a private ballet lesson with Emily, I experienced her world. I had completely lost my voice – the residual effect of a head cold and at the same time, electricity for that part of the city was down. We were in an upstairs studio insulated against outdoor sound. Without the sound of my own voice and unable to plug in my tape player for music, the two of us were dancing in complete silence. I suddenly realized that I had entered the world Emily inhabited all her life. She was comfortable in this silence, but for me it was a new experience and not one I’ll ever forget.
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Sheila Orysiek is a freelance writer who specializes in literature and the arts. She may be contacted via sheila.orysiek@sdjewishworld.com