Some campaign theme songs
By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO — Now that the conventions are over, both presidential candidates have released the anthems for their campaigns.
I’ll Fix America by Donald Trump (Melody: God Bless America)
“While there’s Muslim terror from abroad and near.
Elect me president, you won’t have to fear.
I’ll defend our borders from illegal thugs.
Who are sent to rape and to traffic drugs.
I’ll fix America.
So we can win.
I’m a dealer, I can heal her.
It’s her fate to be great once again.
Fix bad treaties that were seedy.
If I lose, then I’ll sue.
I’ll fix America, and beat that shrew.
I’ll fix America, and beat that shrew.
A Competent Woman by Hillary Clinton (Melody: A Natural Woman)
Checking out my resume
I think you’ll be inspired.
Thru health care, women’s rights, and every fray.
That’s why I’m so admired.
Before I beat Bernie, life was so unkind.
Hearing Trump concede would bring peace of mind.
‘Cause you should elect
You should elect.
You should elect a competent woman.
When my Bill cheated with Monica
And people tried to shame me.
I ran for Senate and proved myself.
Then served Barack, for which they still defame me.
So I’m no longer doubtful of what I’m running for
And if I’m more progressive, I don’t need to do more
‘Cause you should elect.
You should elect.
You should elect a competent woman.
Oh voters, can’t you trust in me?
I’ve made mistakes but they’re small.
I’m so much saner than my foe
I’ll shatter ceilings and not build walls.
You need to elect
You need to elect
You need to elect a competent woman.
You need to elect
You need to elect
You need to elect a competent woman,
a competent woman.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted vialawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.