Satire: Short Takes

By Laurie Baron, Ph.D

Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO — Bernie Madoff died in prison this week.  In accordance with his will, his tombstone will be shaped like a pyramid.

Matt Gaetz cancelled his appearance as a contestant on the Underage Bachelorette.

The FDA and CDC ordered a temporary suspension in the use of the Johnson and Johnson Covid-19 vaccine after six cases of a rare blood clotting disease were reported in those who had received a shot of it.  If it is permanently banned, the company plans to repurpose it as a treatment for hemophilia.

Marjorie Taylor Greene has formed the America First caucus to protect “uniquely Anglo-Saxon political traditions” and warn that “mass immigration poses a threat to the long-term existential future of America as a unique country with a unique culture and a unique identity.”  Native Americans concur with the latter. Anglo-Saxon immigration posed an existential threat to their ancestors.

Kim Potter killed Duante Wright when she shot him with her gun which she claims she mistook for a Taser.  If she is not found guilty of second-degree manslaughter, let’s hope she doesn’t become a surgeon.

Benjamin Netanyahu is trying to form his fourth coalition government in two years.  If he succeeds, onlookers will throw Minute Rice to celebrate his inauguration.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.comSan Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.