By Barrett Holman Leak in La Jolla, California
“Free yourself from the concentration camp of your own mind. The key is in your pocket, and the key is courage.” — Dr. Edith Eger
Watching a video of Dr. Edith Eva Eger z’’l sharing those words, the San Diego community came together to remember and say goodbye. It was an evening emceed by her grandson Jonathan Eger and filled with a dance tribute, Eger’s favorite dish, a dance performance and special words from family friend and American media mogul, Oprah Winfrey.
Gathered at The Bishop’s School in La Jolla Village, on October 4, family, friends, and community members celebrated the remarkable life and enduring legacy of Dr. Edith Eger—psychologist, Holocaust survivor, acclaimed author, and a beacon of profound human triumph. Dr. Eger died on April 27, 2026, at the age of 98, leaving behind a global footprint of healing, hope, and an unshakeable philosophy of freedom.
Born on September 29, 1927, in Czechoslovakia (now Slovakia), Dr. Eger’s early years were shaped by discipline and grace as a dedicated ballerina and gymnast. When the dark tide of World War II swept her family into the horrors of the Holocaust, her life changed forever. On her very first night in the camp, she was forced to dance for the infamous Dr. Mengele—a chilling ordeal that tested the absolute limits of her physical and mental endurance, even as her parents were murdered. She detailed the horror in her book The Ballerina of Auschwitz. Within the depths of unimaginable cruelty, she discovered an unyielding inner strength. On May 4, 1945, in the Gunskirchen camp that was being liberated, she weighed scarcely over 60 pounds, with a broken back and dying of typhus and starvation. The fleeing Nazis discarded her into a pile of corpses and ran, leaving her completely gone to the world.
It was a young African American soldier serving in the U.S. 71st Infantry Division who walked through that horrific scene, noticed a faint, imperceptible twitch of a hand or a stirring in the heap of bodies, and stopped. He reached down, pulled her out from the dead, and gave her a few M&Ms—the first spark of human touch, nourishment, and grace that pulled her back across the threshold from death into life.
Emigrating to the United States, Eger transformed her survival into a lifelong mission to heal others. She earned her Ph.D. in psychology in 1978 and built a clinical practice in San Diego, touching countless lives. Through her bestselling memoir The Choice and her subsequent works, she reached even further, eventually worldwide. She didn’t offer a complicated academic theory; she offered practical, hard-won wisdom from someone who saw the absolute worst of humanity and still chose joy.
Winfrey shared the story of how one of her African student mentees met with Eger and in one session was able to release decades of the bitter memories of watching her entire family be slaughtered with machetes in Rwanda. She also shared four points from Eger’s wisdom that left a legacy of healing. That healing was part of a four-part framework Winfrey shared with the audience:
- Shift from “Why Me?” to “What Now?”: Eger consistently identified the retrospective question of “Why me?” as a psychological trap that binds the individual to a perpetual state of victimization. By redirecting inquiry toward “What now?” she argued that a person actively reclaims agency, pivoting from passive endurance to deliberate, present-moment problem-solving. You are not what happened to you.
- Recognize the Concentration Camp of the Mind and Free Yourself: Drawing directly from her survival at Auschwitz, Eger asserted that the most formidable prisons are constructed internally through unexamined grief, self-judgment, and lingering trauma. Her foundational axiom posits that while external circumstances may strip an individual of liberty, the internal key to freedom remains entirely within your mind.
- Confronting and Processing Grief: Rejecting the premise of avoidance or artificial optimism, Eger maintained that emotional pain must be fully acknowledged to be neutralized. She frequently compared suppressed trauma to holding an object submerged underwater—an exhaustive effort that requires continuous energy until the emotion is allowed to surface, peak, and dissipate.
- Cultivating Internal Advocacy: The fourth pillar centers on transforming one’s internal dialogue from a punitive inner critic to a supportive advocate. Be your best friend. Eger emphasized that true resilience requires treating oneself with the same unwavering compassion and fierce loyalty one would extend to a cherished friend, particularly during periods of profound vulnerability.
The gathering extended into the evening with people laughing and eating from a menu of Eger’s favorite foods – from creamed spinach and cucumber salad, to latkes, roast beef and pastrami sandwiches and chicken paprikash. It was shared that she greatly loved food and a family friend revealed that once at Auschwitz, young Eger had gone two weeks without eating. Now friends and family have great memories of restaurant meals with her and delicious meals she cooked in her kitchen. The words shared by family and friends were a testament to a life fully won back from darkness.
As the evening closed, Jonathan Eger invited everyone to fill out a postcard with something they have been too afraid to do because they have been imprisoned by fear, and then to be courageous and do it. The hot summer evening finally closed with a lingering legacy of the joy of life.
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Barrett Holman Leak is a freelance writer based in San Diego.