By Donald H. Harrison
SAN DIEGO – Attendees of an intimate ceremony Thursday dedicating the Rabbi Aaron Gold Community Meeting Room resurrected the warmth and magic of the personal life and career of a San Diego County spiritual leader who died 24 years ago.
His widow, Jeanne, wanted to make certain that his kind deeds as the rabbi of three local congregations – Tifereth Israel, Ner Tamid, and Beth Sholom – did not vanish from community memory. So, she arranged via the Jewish Community Foundation to donate to a current venue that exemplified the pastoral work of her husband who died at age 81. They chose the gathering place for staff and clients of the JFS Center for Jewish Care. In this living room setting – surrounded by private offices – JFS staff meet with and help clients whose lives are in temporary disarray.
Dana Toppel, the new chief executive officer of JFS, told of two recent examples of Jewish community members whose lives had turned topsy turvy. A well-educated woman in her 40s is a victim of domestic violence that left her without a car and without access to the internet. Just Wednesday night, Toppel encountered a man who had started a successful organization but now couldn’t afford to buy food for himself. He obtained his dinner, as he had for many nights previously, from the JFS food pantry. The staff of the Center for Jewish Care is networking with other Jewish communal organizations to get both these individuals back on their feet.
Jeanne Gold said her husband was a “kind, humble, gracious and gentle man” to whom she was married from 1975 to 2001. Together they “established Tifereth Israel’s scholarship fund to send teens and young adults to Israel on annual Torah study programs. We led over 1,000 couples on Jewish Marriage Encounter weekends,” teaching methods for “enriched communication in families.” The couple led 14 synagogue groups to Israel and formed chavurahs from within the Conservative congregation’s membership.
She disclosed that at the instigation of her Aunt Rose, whom she described as the president of the ‘Let’s Get Jeanne Fixed Up’ fan club, she had a telephonic relationship with the rabbi. His schedule was so busy, he had no time to date. So, she asked, “Rabbi, can I come to your Friday night service? What could he say? No? And then after services he didn’t seem so busy. The next evening, on our first date, we went to an engagement party. We sat and talked most of the evening.”
When it was time to celebrate the engaged couple, at her suggestion Rabbi Gold offered an extemporaneous toast – citing the story of Jacob’s Ladder and comparing the couple’s experiences to that of the biblical patriarch. “I was so impressed, and I thought he could contribute something very important to my life. So I said, ‘Rabbi, I’d like you to officiate at my wedding.’ And he responded with, ‘How do you know I won’t be the groom?’ And that was our first date.”
Claudia, a daughter by Rabbi Gold’s first wife, recalled that she and her father had different spiritual practices and beliefs. The rabbi told her a story about a Polish rabbi who used to stand for an hour for the Silent Devotion. When that rabbi became elderly, he was succeeded by his son, who finished the Silent Devotion in five minutes. Stunned congregants complained to the elderly rabbi that the son was different than he was. No, the elderly rabbi responded, “He’s exactly like me – he follows his heart and I follow mine.”
Therese Dupuis, board chair of Jewish Family Service, said she studied for conversion to Judaism with Rabbi Gold 35 years ago. The day before she was scheduled to meet with a beth din in Los Angeles and immerse herself in a mikveh, she panicked. “I thought I didn’t know exactly what I believe and don’t want to go in under false pretenses.” Meeting with Rabbi Gold, she reiterated that “I really don’t know exactly what I believe.” Gold looked at her, “with a twinkle in his eye and said, ‘Welcome to Judaism.’ That moment changed my life. I never looked back. I converted the next day. Because of him, I am standing here today and I’m just so grateful.”
Patrick Russell, a neighbor of the Golds, said during the 1980s, he had served as a criminal investigator for the San Diego District Attorney’s office. Some teens had vandalized Tifereth Israel Synagogue with swastikas. In their mixed-up way, they wanted to call attention to themselves, but were not hardened antisemites. Russell said he asked Rabbi Gold whether he wanted them to be put into custody, or perhaps some other punishment. Rabbi Gold replied, “I don’t want any of that! What I want to do is educate them on what they did and make them better human beings.”
A plaque hanging in the Rabbi Aaron Gold Community Meeting Room says in part: “He devoted his life to strengthening Jewish identity and advancing interfaith understanding. He taught by example that each day is a precious gift. He was dedicated to building bridges among all faiths, believing deeply in the power of unity and purpose.”
*
Donald H. Harrison is publisher and editor of San Diego Jewish World.
Thank you Don for a wonderful tribute to a marvelous individual. Aaron Gold not only promoted Judaism, but was an example of a dedicated teacher putting into practice the meaning of Tikkun Olam. He was a man whose thoughts, ideas , and deeds reflected the importance of working for the common good! I always found his kindness, connecting with his congregants , his warm humor very uplifting and satisfying during and after services. I’m also very happy to see the work Aaron Gold did is being remembered and honored via the community meeting room at the JCF. Congratulations and best wishes to his family also!
Sincerely.
Ed Cherlin
What a beautiful article and dedication about a man who played an important part in my life! Growing up in Las Vegas, his daughter, Dodie was one of my closest friends and I’d had countless Friday night sleepovers at their house; they were family to me!