Hounding the Headlines: Moving

By Elona Baron as barked to Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO — My humans are moving next week into a senior community. They have assured me there’s a dog park there, but I fear that ICE (Incarcerating Canine Enemies) agents will wait there to arrest dogs who hail from foreign breeds.

I’ve heard there have been raids of dog parks in Los Angeles where packs of Chihuahuas, Chow Chows, and Rhodesian Ridgebacks have been carted away in vans never to be seen again.  ICE claims these dogs have bitten people, but most of them either weren’t licensed or peed and pooped on a lawn since they were unable to read the “Keep off the Grass” signs.  A number of these unfortunate pooches had puppies who were left motherless.

To be sure, back in the good old days, dogcatchers apprehended strays and put them in pounds.  Although this led to some of them being euthanized, there was at least a chance for many of them to be adopted.  They generally were treated well so they would look healthy for prospective owners.

ICE crams them into overcrowded cages or sends them to kennels abroad.  They minimize the kibble they receive and don’t walk them. They are building new pounds in dangerous places where potential escapees will be eaten by predators or killed by hunters with federal permits.

I also worry about the changes to my routine.  I know every tree and telephone pole in my neighborhood.  My nose can recognize the urine signatures of each dog who resides within a mile of my current home.  Now I’ll literally be the new dog on the block.  How long will it take me to identify my new peers by merely sniffing their butts or the spots where they’ve relieved themselves?

There are some good things about the change.  I recently turned 8, which is 56 in human years.  I am close to being an elderly dog.  I don’t like being chased and taunted by children.  Fortunately, I will be surrounded by people who are older than me and kinder than kids.

Although I have not frequented dog parks in the past, I look forward to making new friends and frolicking with them.  Rumor has it that the dog owners at the senior community gather every afternoon in the dog park with their pets to socialize.  They call this yappy hour.

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Elona resides with Bonnie and Laurie Baron. The latter is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. Elona wants her readers to know that Laurie won’t be writing his column in the next two weeks since he’ll be spending all his time moving and orienting Elona to her new home.