By Rabbi Dr. Israel Drazin
PIKESVILLE, Maryland — Lying is one of humanity’s oldest behaviors. People of every culture in every generation have told lies. Some were small, others were large and life-altering. The biblical book Genesis begins with a tale that some commentators insist reveals that Adam’s wife lied when she said we were told not to eat from a particular tree and not even touch it. This interpretation is based on the fact that the original command by God to Adam does not mention touching.
More knowledgeable scholars recognize that this interpretation is wrong. The biblical style is to say something briefly and elaborate later, so Eve was telling the truth. However, according to those who misunderstand, Eve’s lie resulted in a punishment that affected not only her and Adam but all their descendants. This notion that children are punished for their ancestors’ misdeeds is contrary to Jewish teachings.
While lies are usually condemned as immoral by most people, others, such as those who misunderstand the Bible, also overlook the psychological, social, and even survival purposes of lies, which makes some lies not immoral but sometimes beneficial. The Bible is filled with incidents where some Bible commentators are convinced, as they are about Eve, that the biblical individual is lying. In contrast, other commentators understand that it was not a lie at all.
Self-Protection
Many lies are told to avoid punishment, embarrassment, or criticism. Students may lie about finishing an assignment, or employees may hide a mistake to protect their job or reputation. These lies are rooted in fear of consequences. They are harmful and immoral. An example is Adam and Eve’s son, who tried to hide the fact from God that he had murdered his brother Abel when he said, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” A similar lie is when Joseph’s brothers hid from their father Jacob that they had sold Joseph into slavery.
Some scholars argue that Joseph himself lied to his brothers when he hid his identity from them; others claim he was acting righteously, even referring to him as Yosef hatzadic, “Joseph the righteous.”
Not all lies are selfish, as the preceding ones were. Many people lie to shield others from embarrassment or pain, such as telling a woman that she looks lovely or a sick friend that he looks fine, even when they appear to be the opposite. These are called white lies, which can help preserve relationships and soften the harshness of life.
Genesis 18 describes three messengers visiting Abraham. They tell him that his wife, Sarah, will have a son within a year. Sarah overhears the prophecy from inside her tent, laughs, and says, “Now that I am withered, am I to have enjoyment with my husband who is so old?”
God changed her words when He reported the event to Abraham. God relays her reason as, “Shall I in truth bear a child, though I am so old?” God changed Sarah’s account from “with my husband who is so old” to “though I am so old,” omitting a potentially insulting remark about Abraham.
Rabbis emphasize that this change in God’s words underscores the significance of marital peace, which they, like God, encourage and refer to as shalom bayit. This teaches that maintaining peace within the home is a value that can override the truth.
Compulsive Lying
In some cases, lying becomes a habitual, unnecessary behavior. Compulsive liars may fabricate stories without good reason, often tied to their deep psychological struggles.
Noble lies
Some lies are what Maimonides called “necessary” or “essential lies.” The Greek philosopher Plato referred to them as “noble lies” earlier in The Republic, in the section known as “The Myth of the Metals.” It is a myth Plato felt was necessary for an ideal society to ensure unity and encourage citizens to accept the roles society assigned to them. The myth states that all citizens are born from the earth and that different metals—gold, silver, or bronze—are present in them, which determine their societal roles. People should accept what they are born to do, be satisfied, and refrain from complaining.
The purpose of this “noble lie” is not malicious deception but to promote civic loyalty, a sense of shared destiny, and acceptance of the city’s hierarchical structure for the common good.
Statistics
The popular joke about statistics being a lie is the well-known saying: “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.” It suggests that while liars deliberately mislead, statistics can be even more deceptive because they are often presented as objective facts, making them a more powerful—and more damnable—form of deception.
People think that statistics reveal the truth, but this is not true. They only reveal the possibility of the truth. The absolute truth is unknown. All sciences are based on statistics, and all are only possibly true. However, humans need to rely on them. This is necessary and somewhat safe as long as we repeatedly try to verify the supposed facts.
The Impact of Lying
While lies may serve a purpose, they come with consequences. Trust, once broken, is difficult to repair. A single lie can overshadow years of honesty, eroding marital bonds, destroying friendships, and harming partners or colleagues. On a larger scale, widespread deception undermines institutions and social stability.
At the same time, not all lies are destructive. White lies can preserve kindness, and strategic deception can even save lives in perilous situations. The Jewish “necessary lie” that God becomes angry when we misbehave helps restrain people from misbehaving. The impact of lying depends on both the intent and the context in which it occurs.
The Psychology Behind Lying
Research indicates that lying is a demanding mental process. It requires inventing details, keeping stories consistent, and managing guilt or anxiety. That is why liars may reveal themselves through nervous habits, inconsistencies, or overcompensating with too much detail.
Interestingly, children begin to lie around age 3. This is not a sign of moral failure, but rather a sign of mental development. Lying shows that a child understands others have perspectives different from their own.
Can We Live Without Lies?
Some philosophers and ethicists argue that a world without lies would be ideal, a place of pure honesty. Others, such as Plato and Maimonides, among many others, point out that human relationships often rely on subtle untruths that soften reality. Radical honesty may sound noble, but in practice, it can wound, alienate, or even put people in danger.
The real challenge may not be eliminating lies but discerning when honesty serves growth and when gentle deception serves compassion.
Lying is neither wholly evil nor wholly harmless. It is a tool. It is sometimes misused, but it is sometimes necessary, which reflects our deepest fears, desires, and social needs. To understand lying is to understand ourselves: our longing to be accepted, our fear of rejection, and our struggle to balance truth with kindness.
Ultimately, the question is not whether lying is always wrong, but whether a given lie builds or breaks the fragile bonds of trust that hold human life together.
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Rabbi Dr. Israel Drazin is a retired brigadier general in the U.S. Army Chaplain Corps and is the author of more than 50 books.