By Laurie Baron in San Diego
On July 3rd Donald Trump traveled to Mt. Rushmore to deliver a speech commemorating the 250th anniversary of the United States. After claiming that the country, like him, was exceptional, he launched into a diatribe against communism and called for the passage of the SAVE Act. Given his limited historical knowledge, Trump probably deemed the British, whom the American Revolution overthrew, were communists because they wore red coats.
Although stone faced, the heads of Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and Roosevelt were visibly upset by Trump. They all vomited up some pebbles as Trump talked. Unable to move their lips, seismographs recorded their thoughts.
Washington: Has this buffoon ever read my Farewell Address? Therein I advised the nation’s leaders “to confine themselves within their respective constitutional spheres, avoiding in the exercise of the powers of one department to encroach upon another” because violating the separation of powers would lead to “real despotism.” Listening to Trump, I realized that is what he seeks and that he never plans to give a farewell address. If Trump had chopped down a cherry tree like me, he would have splintered it into canes, gild them, and sell them to enrich himself.
Jefferson: When asked by an interviewer what the message of the Declaration of Independence was, Trump replied, it was a “declaration of unity and love and respect.” No, Donald, it was a declaration of revolt against the King of England whose rule ended whatever love and respect we colonists had for England. If he were aware of my preference for limited government, he’d consider me a member of Antifa.
Lincoln: I can’t believe he exploited the birthday of our country to lobby for the passage of the SAVE Act. As I understand this bill, it would restrict the suffrage, particularly among the descendants of the slaves I emancipated. I agree with George. The only thing Trump wants to save is his own presidency. I’m embarrassed that he calls himself a Republican.
Roosevelt: I was a bellicose and boisterous president like Trump, but the difference ends there. I served as a “Rough Rider” in the Spanish-American War; he avoided being drafted into the army due to “bone spurs.” I viewed the presidency as a “bully pulpit” to advocate for my policies; he sees it a throne to bully everyone who doesn’t support his policies. I was known as the “Trust Buster;” he’s known as the pay-to-play conglomerator.
Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Roosevelt: We vehemently oppose his face being sculpted next to ours. There’s not enough room on Mt. Rushmore for a head and ego as inflated as his is.
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Laurie Baron, retired from San Diego State University, is a professor emeritus of history.