By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO-Now that Chris Christie has presidential momentum, the Tea Party is conducting opposition research to find skeletons in his past. One researcher is exploring a rumor about him being guilty of marital and political infidelity. Apparently there is footage of him in a threesome with a democratic president, and a tempestuous woman named Sandy.
Tom Cruise has backpedaled on his statement that acting in movies is as stressful as combat duty in Afghanistan. His agent told reporters that they must understand Cruise is suffering from Post Theatrical Stupidity Disorder.
Sarah Palin has been promoting her new book which criticizes the “war on Christmas.” She vehemently believes that the denigration of Christmas robs Americans of their Second Amendment rights to celebrate the birth of the Prince of Peace by giving their children hunting rifles, toy guns, and war games.
Benjamin Netanyahu denounced the “bad deal” the United States negotiated with Iran. He observed that this is one of the rare moments when Israel and most Arab governments agree that allowing Iran to enrich any uranium would enable the Islamic Republic to produce nuclear weapons. This has sparked speculation that the Arab League might soon be renamed the Semites League.
NFL player Richie Incognito is defending himself from accusations that he bullied his teammate Jonathan Martin. He claims, “I always had his back!” Video of the incidents indicates that he is technically telling the truth. When he made racial slurs and derogatory remarks, he always did it to Martin’s face.
Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted at Lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com