By Natasha Josefowitz, Ph.D
LA JOLLA, California — Time is marching inexorably on. 6 a.m.: I wish the clock would stop for an hour so that I can stay in bed—it doesn’t, and I get up reluctantly. In the waiting room of the doctor’s office: I wish time would speed up. I wish it would slow down when I am on deadline.
Time: perhaps our most treasured, yet most wasted possession! For some there is too much of it—people in hospital beds, in jails, or old and alone—long, lonely days stretching seemingly forever. For most, there is not enough of it. Like cramming stuff in an overflowing drawer, we are cramming what we need to do, plan to do, hope to do—into every available slot in the day.
Just about everyone I know is either in a rush, hurrying to get some task done, or is feeling guilty about not accomplishing said task. I can’t remember when I am free for lunch or dinner unless I look at my iPhone’s calendar and then it’s: nothing available this week. Mae West said, “So many men, so little time.” I say, “So many books, so little time.” Friends write books or give me favorite books and ask what I thought of them. I guiltily I must admit that I did not have time to read them.
The digital age was supposed to make things easier and faster with access to everything and everyone all the time. Instead it increased the number of commitments, responsibilities, and need-to-know information. I am barely able to keep abreast of world, national, and local news, while neglecting to call on a friend or congratulate the recent graduate.
What do I need to know to survive and not sound too stupid at the next dinner party? I read the latest studies on Alzheimer’s and brain research. I read the New York Times and the whole science section on Tuesdays, besides half a dozen medical journals.
I don’t have time to read a novel, because I write a column La Jolla Village News, blog on the Huffington Post, and write for the San Diego Jewish World website. I work out every day and read while on the treadmill. Charlie Rose and PBS news are accumulating on my DVR.
I am running out of time to do all the things I want to finish before I die. I don’t want to leave all the mess from my daughter to deal with. One is supposed to stop and smell the roses…what roses? I don’t have time to look for roses!
I know, I know, what are my priorities? I can’t always figure out the difference between “need to do” and “want to do,” because what I need to do I also enjoy. And so, time spent working and being responsible is also time spent that makes me happy. It would be okay except there is no time left for anything else. It is a myth told to working parents that one can balance home and career. It is not possible to do both well, so the question is what do you give short shrift to—the kids or the work? The good news is that both survive quite well, but the price paid is guilt and exhaustion.
We are overly committed, and our tired bodies tell us that by being overweight and under-exercised, unless that exercise also becomes part of the already overextended daily routine.
So what is the solution? Obviously, give up something! But what if everything seems equally important or fun?
We overschedule ourselves by responding not only to our own needs, but to the needs of others who are requesting our time. If we are unwilling to prioritize and give up any of our activities or commitments, then we should shift our mindsets toward celebrating our interesting lives. If everything we do is that important or fun and everyone needs us, we are indeed blessed to be among those who don’t have enough time.
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Preceding is reprinted from La Jolla Village News