By Eva Trieger in Ramona, California
Jewish American songwriter Don Schlitz could have been conjuring Michael and Paula Mantell of El Cajon, California, when penning his popular song, made famous by Randy Travis. “Forever and Ever, Amen” tells the story of a long-time unshakeable love between a man and a woman.
While I wasn’t seeing a ten-gallon hat, treble clefs or quarter notes, that same message came across loud and clear in a recent telephone interview with the couple.
I had the occasion to speak with the Mantells and explore reasons why they should be crowned America’s Favorite Couple in an online contest. What I learned from the duo, and in my experience of sharing meals with them, reinforced my feeling, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that they really do deserve to win.
This competition, created by Variety, is raising funds for globally responsible and important causes. The Los Angeles Regional Food Bank and Oceana are the recipients. Both of these worthy groups nurture people and provide stewardship for our environment. Ambassadors for America’s Favorite Couple include actors Ted Danson and his wife, Mary Steenbergen, Jeff Goldblum and his wife Emilie. The online votes will be tallied and the winning pair will receive $20,000 and a chance to dine with the Goldblums.
Variety opens this contest to tens of thousands of participants nationwide. The winnowing down begins tomorrow, Friday, July 17, when the first round reveals the top 20 winners. This continues until October 9, when the winning couple will be selected and announced. This is just the second year of the contest. Last year nearly $4 million was raised during the competition for the aforementioned charities.
The contestants register online and share their stories. Variety is “celebrating couples with real connection, meaningful stories, and undeniable chemistry. Love isn’t perfect—it’s real, resilient, and worth celebrating. From newlyweds to longtime partners, America’s Favorite Couple inspires all lovebirds to share their story.” From this mission statement, I’d say the Mantells are a shoo-in.
The pair met in high school when Paula was a sophomore and Michael, a senior. Paula accidentally stepped on the back of Michael’s shoe and when he turned to face her, their eyes met, and he knew it was kismet. He told his friend, “I’m going to marry her!” This “flat tire” led to years of dating while both graduated and went on to college. The day of the lunar landing, June 21, 1969, in a small room at Grandma Fanny’s Newark, New Jersey, apartment, Michael proposed. “Will you love me forever? Will you marry me?” Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin weren’t the only ones over the moon!
Both Michael and Paula stated that they have always been in sync. They both stepped forward to embrace Judaism to a greater degree at the same time. Their shared values and philosophy of life bind them. Their commitment to their marriage, a sacred partnership, keeps them intertwined and grateful to celebrate this bond. As they firmly believe that we are made in the image of G-d, they practice treating each other with dignity and respect. Gratitude for each other, their family and community is another foundational pillar for the Mantells. They do not take any of it for granted, and they know that it is the daily acts, the little things, that forge the depth of their union.
For both Michael and Paula, maintaining their health and well-being is critical. To this end, they observe and reconnect on Shabbat. They attend shul and both are active in the community, helping in the kitchen, and attending fundraising events. Michael writes a weekly d’var Torah column for San Diego Jewish World, often sharing insights from his background and practice in psychology and marital counseling. Paula, as a certified trainer, helps others achieve their wellness goals. She has also acted as Michael’s office manager for many years, keeping his files organized while scheduling his appointments. They are a team in the truest sense.
Perhaps the most obvious attribute this couple shares is their ability to appreciate each other. They laugh, talk, and enjoy life together. They both demonstrate emotional vulnerability and safety knowing there is no competition between them, only unconditional loving support. I have personally observed their interactions and always feel enriched when spending time in their presence. It is clear to me that they genuinely choose each other and authentically want to be near each other at every chance.
If they win the kitty, they plan to share the bounty with their children and grandchildren, write another book about successfully navigating marriage, and support Jewish causes. America’s Favorite Jewish Couple is indubitably Paula and Michael Mantell. I know I will be tracking their status and hoping that others see what I see when spending time with this couple. Every marriage has its own rhythm and language, but I believe that for the Mantells, they are hearing identical musical scores, and dancing to them effortlessly.
*
Eva Trieger is a freelance writer specializing in the coverage of the arts.