By Rabbi Joshua Dorsch
SAN DIEGO — Unlike many characters in the Torah, Joseph has no problem showing emotions. He cries on at least seven different occasions. Sometimes he cries in public, other times in private. Sometimes, so loudly others outside can hear him. Which is why it is intriguing that at the end of the Torah portion, we are told that Joseph can no longer “L’HitApek” or “control himself.” So he asked all of the Egyptians to leave the room. He knew he would be overwhelmed by his emotions. After somewhat of a ruse, Joseph reveals himself to his brothers, and is reunited with his father. Doing so in front of the court, and all of Egypt, would have done more harm than good.
As comfortable as Joseph was with his emotions, he recognized that to act out of emotion, isn’t always the wisest course of action. There are times when our emotions dictate our actions. There are times when we need to cry, or we may be moved to reach out and give a hug to someone in pain or suffering. But there are other times when we want to act out of emotion or out of rage, but doing so would cause problems and be inappropriate.
One of the many things that Joseph understood is that we cannot control our emotions and how we feel, but that we can often control how we act out our emotions.
Which is why it is my hope and prayer for all of us, that like Joseph, we can be comfortable with one another to shed a tear when we need to, to open up and be vulnerable with one another, and share our emotions. But that we also have the wisdom and courage to L’HitApek, to control ourselves, when appropriate, ensuring that our emotions become a tool for comfort and for good.
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Rabbi Dorsch is spiritual leader of Tifereth Israel Synagogue in San Diego. He may be contacted via joshua.dorsch@sdjewishworld.com