Yom HaZikaron: The pain and privilege of memory

Editor’s Note: Following are remarks delivered at the Yom HaZikaron observance Tuesday evening, May 7, at the Lawrence Family JCC.

By Yiftach Levy

LA JOLLA, California — We typically think of memory as a purely mental exercise – we remember in our heads and our imaginations – but remembering is a fully multisensory experience.

We see images of the ones we love in our mind’s eye. We hear the voices of the ones we lost talking, laughing, singing.

When we smell and taste foods we shared with them, we remember the joy of meals together.

We long for one more touch, another hug and kiss, an excited high five or a gentle caress.

Yom HaZikaron is a communal day of remembrance, but for the families and friends of the fallen, memories – and with them, pain and grief – are not bound by the calendar. We, the grieving, are surrounded by memories, immersed in them. We breathe them in and out constantly.

We see someone on the street with a familiar haircut, or think we recognize their walk, and a lump catches in our throat.

We hear a beloved song on the radio (or, this week, all the songs that have come to be known as “Memorial Tunes”), and our eyes well up as we sing along with the lyrics.

We glance at a picture hung up at home, or pass the door of the bedroom where you used to sleep, and reach out into the void you left behind, craving one more touch.

Every one of us remembers someone lost in the ongoing struggle for Israel’s independence and secure existence.

Our losses range from the casual acquaintance, schoolmates and army comrades, to family members from every branch of the family tree, to the most intimate – parents, siblings, spouses, children.

We gather as a community to acknowledge our shared mourning, to support each other, and most of all to fulfill our loved ones’ wishes and legacies: to continue protecting the land and people of Israel, to bring more love and light into the world, and most of all to remember them. For it is through our remembering that they live on.

Since 1860, when the first Jewish settlers established new neighborhoods outside the walls of Jerusalem, 23,741 men and women have fallen in defense of the Jewish homeland. In addition, 3,150 civilians have been killed in acts of terror, including four this past week.

May their memories always be a blessing.

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Levy is a resident of San Diego.