San Diego Jewish World Editor’s Note — Retired Writer Bruce F. Lowitt has been a friend of SDJW Publisher Donald H. Harrison since 1967, when they both started working for the Associated Press in Los Angeles. Harrison remembered Lowitt’s Port Chester (New York) Daily Item “interview” with a groundhog months before he came to the AP. Today being Groundhog Day, we thought would revive Lowitt’s interview 58 years later.*
Port Chester Daily Item’s Editor’s Note. Today is Groundhog Day, when traditionally the groundhog interrupts his hibernation to peek out of his burrow for a look around. Should the sun be shining, tradition says, the groundhog will be frightened by his shadow and return to his burrow – a sign winter will continue for six more weeks. Can such prognostication survive in the face of advancing meteorological aids as the weather satellites? Daily Item Bruce Lowitt was sent into wildest Harrison (N.Y.) to find out. He returned with muddy knees and this apparently exclusive interview.
By Bruce F. Lowitt
Current Photo
HARRISON, New York (February 1967) — “Your name, sir?”
“Phileas G-for-ground Hog.”
“Well, tomorrow is your day, is it not?”
“Yes, of course. However, I might add that it is quite a puzzling day for me too. You see, I have a little touch of rheumatism and, like everyone else, I want the warmth of spring to come early, too. So every year at about this time I get my sunglasses and consider putting them on. so I won’t see my shadow or be bothered by the snow. But then I start worrying, especially since I can never remember whether I’m supposed to stay outside or go back into my hole – er, house.”
“Oh, yes. My wife, Mathilda, is in the kitchen, preparing minced watercress au gratin. Then there are my children – one daughter, Peregrine, and my eight, no, nine sons – Homer, Hector, Hobart, Hugh, Harvey, Harald, Hubert, Humphrey, and Seymour.”
“That’s quite a crowd. Tell me, how do you support them all?”
“Well, don’t forget, I am the official, designated Harrison Harbinger.”
“Is that a fulltime job?”
“Not really. I only work at it for about a week. But it’s my preferred work. Actually, my primary occupation is burrowing. But let’s face it, how long can you chew dirt?”
“I get the point. Tell me, are you the first official Harrison Harbinger?”
“On no. My father did it before me and his father before him, and so on. You see, we’re descended from the Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, groundhogs who’ve been doing it for centuries. But I’m a fifth-generation Harrisonite – or is it Harrisonian? … I’ve never been too clear on that point.””
“I couldn’t say. That’s quite a family tradition, though. Would you want any of your children to become harbingers?”
“Only Seymour.”
“Why so?”
“Well, I don’t think any of the others could put up with the kidding. You know, Hubert Harbinger and all that.”
“I see. Most people know you as a groundhog. But is that the name you prefer?”
“Actually, hedgehog has a little more class to it. Woodchuck is nice, Marmot has a nice ring to it. Webster seems to think I’m in the aardvark family but don’t you believe it. I guess groundhog is the most popular, though, and I’m satisfied with it. Prairie dog is definitely out.”
“What about whistling pig?”
“Watch it, buddy.”
“O.K. I’m sure the readers would like to know if it takes much schooling or training to become a harbinger.”
“Oh, yes. For example, I received my degree in meteorology from Rodent University in Hedgesville, West Virginia. I also did some postgraduate work at the school’s Hogsett, West Virginia, campus. But, frankly, meteorology, or as the public like to call this line of it, harbingering, is quite a risky business. Several years ago ,my uncle Brutus in West Harrison, after consulting all the charts, stepped out of his hole and froze to the spot. Two days later he got hit by a meteor and hasn’t been the same since.”
“So, you’re strictly the Harrison harbinger as a hobby?”
“Well, not exactly. I also do a little free-lance work. For example, right now I’m working as a special consultant for several television weather shows.”
“I see. Getting back to harbingering, though, how do you stand in the Hooper Harbinger Ratings?”
“I don’t like to boast, but since you’re the first representative from the news media to interview me, I’ll have to admit I’m in the top one-third in accuracy.”
“Could you let us in on the secret of your success – that is, how do you actually make your prediction?”
“Certainly. You must realize that each town, village, city and so forth, must be computed separately. Well, first I take the square root of the town’s annual budget, which I multiply by the diameter of my burrow. I divide this by the atmospheric pressure at sea level on Feb. 2 at 6 a.m. I add this to the Feb. 1 closing New York Stock Exchange Dow Jones Industrial Average, stick my nose out of the ground and make a wild guess. If my prediction is inaccurate, I deny everything attributed to me and blame the whole thing on tight money. Basically, that’s it.”
“I see. Well, that brings me down to the most important question. Do you see Harrison having another six weeks of winter or can we expect an early spring this year?”
Bruce Lowitt is a retired sportswriter, having spent the bulk of his career working for the Associated Press, and later the St. Petersburg Times and the Tampa Tribune.