By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
EL CAJON, California — I often see how distorted thinking leads to emotional disturbance and interpersonal harm. This week’s Torah portion, Balak, offers a remarkable case study in how irrational beliefs and unchecked emotions can spiral into destructive decisions. Through the lens of Parsha Balak, we uncover a Torah-based roadmap for emotional health, spiritual clarity, and ethical living. Awareness of our thinking, our feelings, our irrational and unrealistic biases, are necessary to keep us vigilant for distorted and self-justified unhealthy thinking. The parsha unveils righteousness as the courage to struggle with one’s dark side, to face one’s erroneous fears and doubts, to clean off the shmutz from one’s lenses, and to see the world’s goodness.
Balak, the king of Moab, sees the Israelites advancing and immediately panics. Rather than assess the situation calmly or explore peaceful options, he leaps into an irrational belief: “They are dangerous. I must eliminate them, or we are doomed.” This catastrophic, inflexible thinking leads him to hire Balaam to curse the Israelites—a costly, manipulative, and ultimately futile plan.
This mirrors what in contemporary psychology we may refer to as “awfulizing,” that is, turning a challenge into an existential threat. Balak’s core mistake wasn’t just political. His real error was psychological. He operated from fear, rigid demands, and an illusion of control. Instead of preferring peace, he demanded victory. Instead of tolerating uncertainty, he tried to force a divine outcome.
But Hashem, in His infinite sovereignty, had other plans. Despite being hired to curse, Balaam is repeatedly compelled by Hashem to bless Israel. “How can I curse whom Hashem has not cursed?” (Numbers 23:8). What Balak tries to suppress, Hashem transforms into blessing. This is not just a story of prophecy. It is a profound lesson in how trying to control reality through fear and force often backfires.
Three times in this parsha, it says: “And G-d opened the eyes of Balaam and he saw…” (Numbers 22:31). This repeated refrain invites us to consider how often our emotional distress arises not from events themselves, but from how we see them. Our perspective shapes our reality.
Balaam suffered from ayin ra’ah, a negative, distorted lens. In contrast, Avraham Avinu, according to the Mishnah (Avot 5:22), was characterized by ayin tovah, a good eye. He perceived others favorably, approached life with humility and openness, and saw Hashem’s presence even in difficulty. From a psychological and spiritual perspective, these moments test not only our emotional resilience but also our faith. It is natural to feel confusion, even frustration. However, the lesson embedded in this parsha is clear: rather than allowing these moments to erode our inner strength, we are called to remain steadfast. Faith becomes the anchor when logic and clarity are absent.
Just as Hashem ultimately guided Balaam’s words for a greater purpose, we can trust that the difficulties we encounter are not random. In religious psychology, we understand that suffering or uncertainty, what appears as opposition, may serve as catalysts for our growth, transformation, or our unseen good. Holding on to that belief that divine providence is active even in the dark can sustain the soul through its most trying passages. Such moments of closed doors aren’t signs of failure, but of divine interventions, guiding us toward a greater purpose we couldn’t yet see.
So, when life feels disordered, remember: the absence of understanding is not the absence of meaning.
The talking donkey in this parsha is not just a miracle, but rather it is a metaphor. According to Rambam, the entire exchange may be a vision, occurring within Balaam’s own mind. Was the Rambam the first cognitive therapist? What does this insight tell us? That inner conflict and distorted narratives, irrational beliefs, can block us from hearing truth, even when it’s right in front of us.
Drawing on the insights of Parashat Balak, of cognitive behavior therapy, and of Jewish ethical teachings, here are five Torah-anchored takeaways for a more emotionally and spiritually balanced life:
- Don’t Let Fear Lead. Like Balak, we all catastrophize from time to time. The first step is to pause. Ask yourself: Is my fear rational? What other interpretations are possible? Fear is a signal, not a verdict.
- Challenge Your “Musts.” Replace rigid demands with flexible preferences. Instead of “This must work out,” say, “I’d prefer this—but I can handle it if it doesn’t.” This subtle shift makes all the difference.
- Accept Reality, Don’t Wrestle It. Balak fought what was, and lost. Balaam eventually accepted Hashem’s will and spoke truth. Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up; it means seeing clearly and responding wisely.
- Let Blessing Flow Through You. Despite himself, Balaam becomes a conduit for blessing. So can we, when we align ourselves with integrity, humility, and openness to truth.
- Clean Off the Shmutz. Distorted thinking, blame, self-deception, perfectionism, envy, clouds our vision. The Torah invites u to clean our lenses and view others, ourselves, and life with ayin tovah.
Even Balaam gives us a daily gift: “Mah tovu ohalecha Yaakov…” “How goodly are your tents, O Jacob…” Words he meant as curses have become part of our morning prayers. These words inspire and elevate us daily, helping us move beyond distortions and rationalization for wrongdoing, helping us instead to gain a deep awareness of our blessings, to enhance our lives, and to grow a closeness to Hashem. This is the ultimate transformation, when irrational fear and manipulation give way to truth and blessing. Remember, it’s flexible thinking that fosters freedom from frustration.
And as Rabbi Nachman prayed:
“Help me give each person the benefit of the doubt, even those who disagree with me. And may this lead to true peace and unity among all of Israel.”
And I would add, perhaps now, more than ever.
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun.