Rob Reiner, His Name and Memory for a Blessing

By Eric George Tauber in Cincinnati, Ohio

Like most Gen Xers, I first encountered Rob Reiner through the character of Mike Stivic (aka Meathead) on All in the Family. With righteous indignation, he would call out Archie’s ingrained bigotries in ways no one else would, which led to the great, weekly shouting matches we all looked forward to because we could relate.

We all have an Archie in our lives, that person who seems angry at life for not going their way, or for changing in ways beyond their control. However, as an actor, Reiner understood that Right and Wrong are not always binary choices. Meathead held the high-minded ideals of ivory tower academia, so he sometimes came off sounding self-righteous and arrogant.

On the other hand, Archie, for all of his bluster, poor grammar and malaprops, had hustled for every dollar, managing to buy a home and raise a family as the sole breadwinner. Of course, he resented the entitled bookworm with soft hands and a loudmouth who lived under his roof.

From the first loud toilet flush, audiences knew that All in the Family was
something new. They often tackled Racism, Sexism and Xenophobia. They didn’t just argue about the War in Vietnam, but whether to extend hospitality to a draft dodger one Christmas. In one episode, Edith’s late cousin is outed as a lesbian schoolteacher. In those days, that revelation could have destroyed the career of her partner if they used it against her. In another, after neo-Nazis mistakenly spray painted their symbol on his door, and Archie makes an uneasy alliance with the Jewish Defense League (a controversial group). They went places no other show would go and their conflicts wouldn’t be resolved in half an hour.

It’s worth noting that while Rob Reiner was Jewish, his character was not. Mike was an atheist from a Catholic Polish family with Archie often referring to him as “that dumb Polack.” While most ethnic slurs had gone out of fashion, for some reason, that one could still make the air waves. In one great scene, Mike confronts Archie saying, “Before you even met me, your first question to Gloria was ‘Is he Jewish?’” Archie smirked and pithily replied, “Well, if I was a Jewish father, I woulda asked the same question.” We have to laugh because Archie wasn’t wrong there. That was my mother-in-law’s first question about me.

In an interview, Sally Struthers related that she got the job playing Gloria because, like Carroll O’Connor, she had “blue eyes and a fat face.” … Thank you?

Struthers was a newbie to Hollywood whereas Rob came from Hollywood Royalty. Having been raised in show business as the son of Carl Reiner, Rob Reiner knew that no show lasts forever and one has to plan ahead. Before he left All in the Family, Reiner was working on the script for his directorial debut, The Princess Bride.

The Princess Bride was a fairy tale brought to life by a stellar cast. This story had everything: a sweet love story, brilliantly choreographed sword fights, an evil prince, a giant with a big heart, a conniving nudnik who thinks a little too highly of himself, eerily realistic puppets from the Jim Henson Creature Shop and a loudly bickering old Jewish couple. While the specific ethnicity of Miracle Max and Valerie is never mentioned, anyone who has been to a deli on the Lower East Side knows exactly who Billy Crystal and Carol Kane were imitating.

My favorite outtake from the Princess Bride regards WWE wrestler André the Giant as Fezzik. In the middle of a take, André expelled some flatulence that, according to the camera’s timer, lasted all of 16 seconds. Everyone stops and looks awkwardly at one another until Reiner breaks the silence asking André if he’s okay.

“I am now, Boss,” André replied.

Another Reiner film in my personal DVD collection is Stand By Me, a YA
adventure based on The Body, a novella by Stephen King. What really stayed with me was the interview footage included with the DVD. Reiner said that when you work with young actors, you can’t take them too far from who they are because they’re not there yet. They haven’t learned the craft.

This greatly informed his casting choices of the four boys. Like Gordie, Wil Wheaton had a strained relationship with his own parents whom he later cut out of his life. River Phoenix and his family had been homeless, living out of the family van. At 12 years old, Phoenix came with the rough edges that only the School of Hard Knocks can teach you.

To prepare for his audition, Jerry O’Connell had watched a rerun of All in the Family to know who he was auditioning for. Only Reiner had grayed and gotten heavier since then, looking more like Carroll O’Connor than his old self. At one point, Jerry looked at him and remarked, “Hey! You’re not Archie. You’re Meathead!” For most actors, that’s how you completely blow an audition. But since the character of Vern is kind of a doofus, being a total doofus got him the job.

In the train scene, when the boys have to reach the other side of a long bridge ahead of an oncoming train, the actors were not in any real danger. So, in take after take, there was no real panic in their eyes. Reiner yelled at them because the crew was tired and deserved better than their lazy acting. The boys were taken aback and Reiner felt like a heel for yelling, but then they produced the tears they needed for what became the most iconic scene in the film. Right after Reiner yelled cut, the boys were jumping and hugging him around the neck with a sense of achievement.

Rob Reiner directed many more films such as When Harry Met Sally, Misery, A Few Good Men and The American President, but writing about them all would take all day. As a fan, I only knew Reiner through his work. The person who was probably the most heartbroken over his sudden death was his second father, Carl’s best friend and comedy partner, Mel Brooks. On the night of his murder, Mel Brooks knew that Rob and his wife were not safe. Their son Nick had relapsed back into drugs and was ranting about his parents cutting him out of their wills.

Rob Reiner called Mel Brooks just to hear his voice. Mel urged Rob to get out of there and come to his house, but Rob would not leave Michelle’s side. Mel later said that Rob suffered from “Hollywood Syndrome,” the idea that if you put enough heart and resources into something, you can shape the outcome. That’s how it works in the movies, but sadly Art does not always imitate Life.

How Justice is meted out for Nick Reiner is for the courts to decide. Of Rob Reiner, I say Zichronám Shemó Librchá, May his memory and name be a blessing.

Rob Reiner left us a legacy of television and film to make us laugh, reflect upon and discuss. Hopefully these discussions will prompt us to build a better world.

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Eric Tauber is a parttime actor and director of youth productions as well as a schoolteacher. After leaving San Diego for his hometown of Cincinnati, he continues to contribute articles to San Diego Jewish World.