The ICE Handbook was written by an anonymous author and published with a plain cover that doesn’t reveal what it is.
By Laurie Baron in San Diego
Identifying and Responding to Domestic Terrorists — Domestic terrorists carry cell phones to video ICE operations [operations in the literal sense of removing cancerous dissenters)). Since you can never be sure if their cell phones aren’t lasers or tasers, you should incapacitate the people holding them, confiscate their phones, and stomp on them. The only images of ICE in action that are legal are the memes and flattering photos of Kristi Noem which DHS posts online.
Domestic terrorists carry whistles and blow them when ICE agents are in the vicinity. DHS and all other departments of the Trump administration hate whistleblowers. Punch them in the mouth and split their lips so they are unable to blow their whistles.
Domestic terrorists drive cars into locations where ICE is conducting its raids. If they refuse to move their cars, it is preferable to kill or wound them if they are impeding the raid rather than dispatching tow trucks to take them away. Be especially wary of drivers who speak politely to you. They talk softly to lure you closer to their cars because they have a premeditated plan to run you over.
All immigrants, particularly those whose complexions are dark and who speak foreign languages, should be considered domestic terrorists. They never were really seeking asylum from persecution or a better life in the United States. Drug cartels and racially inferior countries released them from prisons and psychiatric hospitals to invade the United States. Humiliate and rough them in front of their children to demonstrate the compassion Donald Trump has for white American citizens who were born here.
Always remember: You belong to an elite force which recruits and trains America’s counterparts to James Bond. You have a license to kill.
This chapter has been officially approved by the President of Venezuela and future President of Greenland.
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Laurie Baron, retired from San Diego State University, is a professor emeritus of history.