By Rabbi Dr. Israel Drazin in Pikesville, Maryland
Both Jews and non-Jews will derive a wealth of important information from Dr. Batya L. Ludman and Gina Junger’s 405-page book, The Jewish Journey Through Loss: From Death to Healing.
The book is by a Jewish clinical psychologist and Jewish educator. With warm, caring, sometimes humorous, and always wise advice, they guide mourners step by step through the grief-filled loss of a loved one.
Until recently, the best-known book discussing the stages of grief was On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, first published in 1969. While it originally focused on patients facing their own terminal illness, it introduced the famous five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—which are now widely applied to the loss of friends and relatives.
She was not alone in describing the emotions provoked by the loss of loved ones. Others include:
–“There are special people in our lives who never leave us, even after they are gone.” D. Morgan
–“We do not remember days, we remember moments.” Cesare Pavese
–“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” Dr. Seuss
–“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched; they must be felt with the heart.” Helen Keller
–“There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart.” Mahatma Gandhi
–“I’ll remember you. When I’ve forgotten all the rest. You to me were true. You to me were the best.” Bob Dylan
–“As long as we live, they too will live; for they are now a part of us, as we remember them.” Jewish Prayer
This book addresses all that should be addressed and is very helpful. It includes discussions of illness, death, funeral, burial, shiva, sheloshim, mourning practices during the first year, end of year, second year, relationship changes, suicide, children, the world beyond the grave, support groups, helplines, prayer, references, and healing after loss.
Death is a certainty, and the emotional and spiritual thoughts that it precipitates agonize and often leave mourners disoriented and alone. Co-authors Batya L. Ludman and Gina Junger provide a compassionate guide to navigating grief through the lens of centuries of Jewish tradition.
Combining psychological insight with religious wisdom, the authors offer readers comfort and practical direction during one of life’s most difficult times.
The authors include short vignettes that reflect real emotions—confusion, anger, guilt, loneliness, and eventual acceptance — and the examples show readers that their reactions are part of a common human experience that can be resolved.
They demonstrate how traditional rituals—such as shiva, sheloshim, and the mourning periods—mirror the natural physical stages of emotional healing. They show that, rather than mere customs, they serve a profound psychological purpose: to grasp mourners and help them move step by step from the disturbing shock of loss toward a renewed engagement with life.
*
Rabbi Dr. Israel Drazin is a retired brigadier general in the U.S. Army Chaplain Corps. He is also the author of 67 books.