By Laurie Baron in San Diego
The U.S. Treasury Department is designing a $250 bill that will feature Donald Trump’s face to commemorate the 250th anniversary of the United States. Since I’ve grown accustomed to Trump putting his name and picture on everything, all I ask is for truth in advertising for currency and merchandise. The $250 bill should come with the following warning: “The value of this bill depreciates by the same percentage as inflation caused by the President’s policies and wars.” By the end of Trump’s term, it should be worth $100.
Here’s some further suggestions of honestly marketed presidential products.
The disposable toilet covers found in public bathrooms will be renamed Trump Dumps. Their circumference will approximate Trump’s waistline. They will carry the tagline, “Excrement for Our President.”
When Trump consolidates all American news outlets into one network administered by Bari Weiss, it will use the call letters TBS to stand for Trump BS. After all, Ted Turner is dead, and he was married to the founder of Antifa, Jane Fonda.
Seeing how profitable the privately owned detention centers housing the criminal, legal, and undocumented immigrants ICE has arrested are, Trump plans to open his own chain of presidential penitentiaries for anyone who has ever criticized him. The prisons will be known as Fink Clinks. Their motto will be: “Degradation Beats Rehabilitation (Except for 1/6 Patriots).”
The Trump Organization will be redubbed the Trump Demolition Company. Instead of construction, it will specialize in the destruction of American alliances, democratic institutions, enemy countries, the environment, free elections, the international trade system, the Republican Party, scientifically based medical care, and the White House, which is slated to be converted into TBS Studios adjacent to the gilded ballroom.
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Laurie Baron, retired from San Diego State University, is a professor emeritus of history.
Very creative..loved it