By Jordan Z. Marks in San Diego
Facebook post
Antisemitism is real. Sometimes it doesn’t happen far away, but in the row behind you at a San Diego Padres baseball game, with your 6-year-old son sitting beside you. (UPDATE: and now with the Hitler photo in the comments…)
Monday night, I took my son to the San Diego Padres game. We wore our jerseys, ate the ballpark treats, and were ready for one of those memorable father-son nights.
It was also a special night for San Diego. I was excited as the elected San Diego Assessor – Recorder – County Clerk to recognize the Padres’ new ownership and celebrate the historic significance of Kwanza Jones becoming the first Black woman in an MLB ownership group and José Feliciano becoming the first Puerto Rican / Latino controlling owner on behalf of the County of San Diego. There was a lot to celebrate.
Then Pittsburgh Pirates player Spencer Horwitz came to bat.
I proudly pointed him out to my son: “He’s Jewish.”
There was something special about the smile on my son’s face.
As a dad, you want your child to see people who share his identity succeeding on the biggest stages. Role models matter. Representation matters.
Then, from the woman sitting directly behind us, came an antisemitic comment suggesting Horwitz was cheating because he is Jewish.
I immediately turned around and asked what she had said.
She became uncomfortable and tried to change what she had said to simply, “He’s a cheater.”
I responded, “No. You said he was a cheater because he’s Jewish.”
From there, things became heated. The man with her began cursing at me. I stood up, put my 6-year-old behind me, and told them what had been said was wrong. I wasn’t perfect in that moment, I was angry, and words were exchanged, but I made sure it never became physical.
What mattered most to me was my son!
I told the woman that he had heard her. That a 6-year-old Jewish child, a human being had heard what she said about someone simply because he was Jewish. She eventually apologized.
The fans around us were incredible. Several offered to switch seats with us. I appreciated it, but declined. Why should my son and I have to move because of someone else’s hate?
The Padres organization was also great. Security checked on the situation after seeing the commotion and made sure everyone was safe. I could have told them exactly what happened and asked that the couple be removed under the Padres’ zero-tolerance policy toward hate. I chose not to.
Instead, they had to sit there. My son eventually climbed onto my lap and occasionally peered back at them. I think the reality of what had happened, and who their words had hurt sank in. The couple left the following inning. Maybe they left uncomfortable. I hope they left ashamed. More importantly, I hope they left thinking.
We stayed. And that matters to me.
I wanted my son’s memories of that night to be an 11-inning baseball game, a Jewish ballplayer, ice cream, lemonade and having fun at the ballpark with Dad.
Unfortunately, it will also likely be the first time he remembers witnessing antisemitism. But maybe there is another memory that will matter even more… He saw his dad stand up against it.
On the drive home, we talked. I told him that we stand up when someone is targeted for being Jewish. And we stand up when someone is targeted for being Black, Asian, Latino, LGBTQ or anyone because of who they are, where they come from, or how they worship. It doesn’t matter who the person is. It doesn’t matter how big or small the incident seems. It is always the right time to do what is right.
I told him I could have stayed quiet. That would have been easier. We could have ignored the comment and gone back to baseball. But standing up isn’t always easy. We do it anyway.
That is how we make the world better. That is part of why God put us here.
I also want to be clear about something: Petco Park and the Padres are places where our family feels welcome. The organization celebrates the incredible diversity of County of San Diego. That very night, Jewish fans were highlighted on the big screen. Jewish Heritage celebrations at the ballpark have been wonderful — my son still loves the Padres menorah giveaway.
We will absolutely be back.
But Monday night was also a reminder of why the City of San Diego, Mayor Todd Gloria, Commissioners led by Nicole Murray Ramirez and the San Diego City Council’s adoption of the IHRA International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance Working Definition of Antisemitism was meaningful to me. The work of StandWithUs antisemitism task force and Councilmember Stephen Whitburn was so important. (Thanks to the 8 councilmembers that voted for it).
We cannot confront something if we are unwilling to name it.
I’m not sharing this story for applause or sympathy.
I’m sharing it because there are still people who say antisemitism isn’t real, is exaggerated, or isn’t happening in our communities.
It is real.
Sometimes it isn’t screamed. Sometimes it’s muttered from the row behind you. And when those comments go unchallenged, they become easier to say the next time. Hate that is normalized can grow into something far more dangerous than a hurtful comment at a baseball game.
The next day, I received a text from another fan who had been sitting near the couple. He told me his mother was a Holocaust survivor. He said watching me stand up made him proud, and he called me a hero. I didn’t feel heroic.
But his message did reassure me that I had done the right thing especially with my son watching. My son learned something Monday night about the darkness that still exists in this world.
I hope he learned something else, too. We don’t have to be afraid of the darkness. We confront it. We shine a light on it. We stand up for each other. And we never give an inch back to hate.
San Diego and organizations like the Padres that intentionally celebrate the diversity of our community gives me tremendous hope for the future. There is still work to do, so we keep doing it.
I hope someday my son tells his own children about the night he went to a Padres game with his dad, saw hate firsthand and learned that when you see something wrong, you stand up and bring some light.
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Jordan Z. Marks is the elected San Diego County assessor-recorder-county clerk.