By Cailin Acosta
SAN DIEGO – “There are three mitzvot specially given to women. One is light Shabbat candles when a girl turns three years old, going to the mikvah when she marries after her monthly cycle and making challah on Friday celebrating Shabbat,” said Rebbetzin Chaya Andrusier of Chabad of East County to the Jewish Women’s Circle that met on Thursday, Oct. 30.
Andrusier welcomed the 30 plus women in attendance to the first women’s challah bake in the congregation’s new location on Navajo Road. At check in, every woman received an apron and was guided to a table that had all the ingredients measured out to make either one large challah or two small ones.
Andrusier asked the women, what do we do in the face of bad news? She shared the story of hostage Avinatan Or as told by parent Ditza Or. In an interview with Hidabrut before Avinatan was released Ditza described how she copes with her worry and her pain. “Every morning until 11 o’clock, I allow myself to be aware of the painful feelingsI am experiencing. During this time, all my emotional fortitude goes slack, all my defense mechanisms are put aside, and I permit the pain and the fear to bubble up and float on the surface. I read certain psalms and send them to my Avinatan the hostage. But after 11 o’clock I close the gate. I protect my soul and do not allow “terrorist” thoughts to enter.”
This response is based on the book of Tanya, a work of the Chasidic movement. It is a book that calls upon the individual to allot a place for pain, but only for discrete periods of time. To control the pain instead of allowing it to control us.
It’s important to allot space to this feeling since suppressing it could lead to an eventual explosion with destructive results. But it is forbidden to stay with this feeling all the time. Therefore we need to compartmentalize the pain and the tears. Only I can invite weakness and vulnerability inside and determine where and when to meet them. In the morning at home. Otherwise, they will attack me in the middle of the day. Even so, I am suddenly attacked by the pain sometimes but push it away and keep boundaries around my thoughts and emotions. There will be more time for pain tomorrow morning, until 11 o’clock.
Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi authored the book of Tanya more than 200 years ago. And now a mother in Israel, whose son has been in captivity for a full two years, utilizes its message and gives it as a gift to all of us. It’s a message for difficult challenges of every kinds, not to suppress the pain, but not to allow it to rule over our thoughts throughout the day, to give it a defined time and place.
Andrusier mentioned that this lesson was life-changing for her.
As we go through this journey, the Torah tells us how to navigate our pain and not get stuck there but to keep moving on.
Andrusier asked, what is the mitzvah of challah?
Raishis Arisosaiche challah tarimu: taking a piece of the dough and sanctifying it for Hashem. Everyone has their dough, take a part of it and sanctify it for Hashem. This is a message for all of us as we navigate this complex world.
We are consumed with the news, with what will be, with feeling the pain, but the Torah says to pause, wait, take challah. Set aside a part of your day for Hashem. Do something sacred, something holy for Israel. Don’t allow the worry, the anxiety and the pain to consume you. Make time for it but then shut the door and give your challah to G-d.
Take challah from your day, give G-d your challah, and sanctify your day with prayer. Take challah from your relationships, give G-d your challah and sanctify your marriage with mikvah. Take challah from your resources, give tzedakah, take challah from your time and energy, give G-d your challah and learn a bit of Torah every day. Find a corner of your life that is untainted and untouched by the dark reality of this world. Your challah corner. Your sacred moments of meaningful Mitzvot for Israel. The moments of your day where like Ditzah Or, you close the door and move on to positivity and good deeds. Every day, ask yourself. What is my challah moment? What have I sanctified today for G-d, for Israel.
Andrusier invited the women to engage in a meditation.
We are here to experience the mitzvah of challah. Can you feel the warmth, connection and Jewish pride in this room? Let us journey together for a challah meditation. Close your eyes.
Please place your hand on the dough, dough you created with love, dough that connects you to Jewish women who for thousands of years have made this dough, during difficult times and during joyful times. From within Sarah’s tent, hiding from pogroms to an apartment in Tel Aviv. Feel its soft texture. Hear its message. I am here for you, to serve as your invitation. With your challah, you invite G-d into your life. Hold out your hands with your palms up. Welcome dear G-d, welcome into my world. I invite you into my kitchen, into my home. I invite you into my heart and into my soul. I invite you into my pain and into my joy. I invite you into my challenge and into my success. I invite you into my choices and on my journey. You are my rock, my strength. I lean into you, and let go of my stress. I can feel you holding me – when I invite you in. I know you are here for me – pouring blessing into my life. I see my blessings before me, I count then, one by one, I realize how truly blessed I am. And it’s all from you. I feel the soft dough I have created – the work of my hands. I trust in you. I trust myself. I feel how the very physical dough is a very spiritual conductor – of love, of life and of gratitude.
The women were invited to come back to the present and start shaping their challahs. My daughter CeCe wowed the crowd with forming a 4-braid challah.
As we were braiding our challahs, I thanked my daughter for joining me and told her how it warms my heart to have her attend Jewish women’s events. She said, “To be honest, I came for the challah.”
I’ll take it.
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Cailin Acosta is the assistant editor of the San Diego Jewish World.