Joyce Wadler’s The Satyr in Bungalow D
By Eric George Tauber in Cincinnati, Ohio
Let’s go back in time to those old Jewish resorts in the Catskill Mountains of upstate New York, but not back to their heyday in the early 20th century. We’re going to Fleischmann’s in the 1960s where most were barely hanging on and some fell prey to “tragic fires.”
Those old resorts were a refuge from the frenetic pace of life in the Big Apple, where families could lounge by the pool and wives who were feeling neglected might stray from their husbands. This is where satyrs come in handy.
[Pop] radiated lust, which was the reason Mrs. Belinsky liked having him around. A satyr who keeps women satisfied is more valuable to a hotel owner than a dance instructor. I once overheard two weekday widows discussing Pop.
“He gripped me down there like a bowling ball,” I heard one say. (p.6)
Satyrs come from Greek mythology. They have human heads and torsos with goat-like horns on their heads, goat legs, hooves and very powerful sex drives. They mate with nymphs, fellow spirits of the forest, in large orgiastic gatherings. In Joyce Wadler’s world, satyrs pass fairly easily through the world of humans. Their horns can be hidden by a hat or some hair gel. Their legs are hairy, but not animal hairy, and they hide their hooves with tightly laced sneakers.
The appeal of satyrs is that they don’t take women for granted. They take the time to woo and truly satisfy them, unlike so many human males. A satyr’s classic pick-up line goes like this:
Ethereal Creature, it’s an afternoon in summer. Make it perfect. Be with me.” (p. 37)
Satyrs recite songs and poetry, playing their pan pipes and wooden flutes, whatever it takes.
Satyrs also recite a Gratitude to Nature every morning that reminded me a little of a yeshiva student’s prayers as he prepares to wrap tefillin:
Thank you for making me a satyr. Thank you for the abundance of summer. May I never squander a ray of sun, nor fail to delight in the glory of a flower, and never, ever, decline the gift of love from a lady. (p.9)
Our main character is Danny, a young satyr in his early teens. Danny is excited to grow his first pair of horns, firm and erect bones at the top of his head, proclaiming his manhood. But unlike most satyrs, Danny’s not just trying to hook up with every nymph he can. Danny is a romantic who falls in love with one specific human woman, Diane. At first sight, Danny becomes obsessed with Diane. She is the Daisy to his Gatsby. That’s another crucial point. When a satyr eats a book, he absorbs the story gastrically. Only when Danny consumed The Great Gatsby, he didn’t get the whole story because the ending was damaged by a flood. But surely, he thinks, since Gatsby’s love for Daisy was so pure, and such a driving force in his life, they must have enjoyed a happy ending. Right?
Most of the book is centered around Danny’s pursuit of Diane, who has no idea what he really is. But there are some side characters and twisting story arcs to keep it busy and interesting. Joyce Wadler’s writing is funny and bawdy without being overly graphic. The jokes have more of a wink and a nudge innuendo with a likable young man learning to navigate the world of love. If you plan to visit any resorts this summer, and are looking for some fun, light reading, check out The Satyr in Bungalow D by Joyce Wadler.
And that’s a book for the night stand.
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Eric George Tauber is a former freelance writer in San Diego who now is a teacher in Cincinnati, Ohio.