Lifestyles

Saying yes, when you really should say no

I do it; all my friends do it; everyone I know does it. “We all say “yes,” “OK,” “I’ll do it,” when we don’t want to. It can be a favor for a friend, additional work for an employer, a helping hand to a co-worker, an errand for a relative, a committee we don’t want to sit on, a fundraiser we don’t want to attend. Why do we say “yes” when we really mean “no”? Do women do it more often than men? I believe they do. After I have said, “yes,” agreed, committed myself, I often regret it. By then, it’s too late. If it is hard to say “no,” it is ten times harder to say, “I’ve changed my mind.” [Natasha Josefowitz, Ph,D]

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Lifestyles, Natasha Josefowitz

Assembly candidate rues growing anger amid pandemic

State Assembly candidate Kate Schwartz eared her graduate degree in psychiatric social work, and today as a mental health professional, she serves as one of five members on the Fallbrook Regional Health District Board.  As our society experiences the coronavirus pandemic, she says that Americans appear to be moving from the first stage of grief — shock and denial — to the far more dangerous second stage, which is anger. [Our Shtetl San Diego County column by Donald H. Harrison]

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Donald H. Harrison, Lifestyles, Music, Dance, and Visual Arts, San Diego County, USA

The three FFF’s of emotional balance

Okay, before you go all holier than thou, critical, or laugh so hard you can’t pay attention to the content of this article, here’s what being “All FFF’d Up” means when it comes to preventing emotional turmoil during this COVID19 unbalanced time. It means you need to have Fun, include Friends and be Focused. C’mon, what’d you think I meant? Besides, I like it better than Conviction, Commitment and Consistency. Three C’s or three F’s? See what I mean? [Michael R. Mantell, PhD]

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Lifestyles, Michael Mantell

One word makes COVID19 even worse

Sure, you may be thinking that word might be “hate,” “poverty,” “illness,” or “death.” No, these words are mild compared to the self-disturbing, life-sucking, contentment-robbing, depression-boosting, anxiety-inducing, and anger-building word I’m thinking of. That word is “should.” In the wonderful words of my mentor and teacher, Albert Ellis, Ph.D., “Should-hood leads to sh#&-hood.” He also observed, “It’s far better to masturbate than MUSTurbate.” Yes, he was a straight talking guy. [Michael Mantell, Ph.D.]

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Lifestyles, Michael Mantell

The Self-Compassion Antidote: WAM!

People who are self-compassionate tend to be more unconditionally self-accepting regardless of their circumstances, while those who feed largely on self-esteem crumble when they face circumstances that are challenging. Self-compassion is not a matter of being selfish. It’s a matter of thriving through any situation, particularly the existential threat many feel from COVID19.
While frequent messaging includes “be compassionate and helpful to others,” people who include themselves in their compassion feel more in control, are filled with more self-love and self-worth and brim with self-confidence. [Michael Mantell, Ph.D]

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Lifestyles, Michael Mantell

Crowding indoors with family not really that bad

Social distancing provides a practical approach to a community faced with a growing pandemic. Many of us are afraid to go outside and interact with others—without wearing a face mask and protective gloves. Many of my congregants have complained to me about having to stay indoors for such a long period of time. Yet, it has to some degree created some problems with close couples and their families sharing the same space for unusual periods of time. It’s easy to get on your significant other’s nerves because we feel spatially “confined.” Everyone seems to be stepping on each other’s toes. [Rabbi Dr. Michael Leo Samuel]

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Lifestyles, Michael Leo Samuel-Rabbi

How to develop resilience during tough times

I recall hearing that a well-adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous. What’s the secret? The link is what you think, of course. And the right mindset brings the secret out into the public: it’s resilience. And if you are fortunate enough to live in San Diego, with it’s glorious weather, beaches, parks, hiking paths and beautiful vistas, you have the most marvelous place on earth to develop that resilience. Personal elasticity if you will. It’s flexibility of the psyche, a springy attitude, a pliable outlook. Whatever you call it, it comes down to a bouncy, supple mindset. This ability to recover quickly is certainly not easy to attain, yet many successful people do. [Michael Mantell, Ph.D]

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Lifestyles, Michael Mantell

The Jewish candidates: Sarah Davis in the 78th A.D.

Sarah Davis faces San Diego City Councilman Chris Ward, who is another LGBTQ Democrat, so such issues as gay rights, marriage equality, and others that in former years were hot topics will not be matters for much debate in the 78th Assembly District contest prior to the Nov. 3 runoff election.  However, Davis, a member of the Jewish community, says she and Ward have plenty of differences about such issues as placing greater emphasis on women’s health and fighting climate change. [Our Shetl San Diego County column by Donald H. Harrison]

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Donald H. Harrison, Lifestyles, Obituaries & memorials, San Diego County, Science, Medicine, & Education, USA

Mind mastery can control fear during pandemic

Mental mastery, whether it’s for the current coronapocalypse, a business meeting, a physical workout, academic success or mindful meditation, requires that you fully engage your mind.  We’ve learned through years of research that our brains are capable of continued growth throughout life, especially when we are engaged in frequent intellectual stimulation. With the right nourishment, engagement, social connections and physical activity, the right dietary nourishment, we do quite well in maintaining brain health. These are anchored in lifestyle choices we make daily. [Michael Mantell, Ph.D]

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Lifestyles, Michael Mantell

Positivity is positively best antidote to anxiety

It’s well known that what you feed, you grow. When it comes to health, longevity, successful social connections and long-term loving relationships, personal and communal wellbeing, even physical fitness and finances, leading-edge transformational coaches know that optimistic, positive seeds are the no-longer-secret predictive ingredients to living life optimally. As I’ve taught in my helping people for years, “the link is what you think.” [Michael Mantell, Ph.D]

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Lifestyles, Michael Mantell

Assembly candidate advocated as a midwife

State Assembly candidate Sarah Davis, 39, is no stranger to the Legislature.  With baby Lucia in tow, she often made the rounds of legislative offices and committee rooms in the state Capitol arguing successfully for greater state recognition of midwives, so that they could be considered full-fledged health care professionals rather than semi-professionals requiring supervision by physicians.  The issue was important not only for the midwives but for the new mothers who preferred to be attended by them at home or in home-like clinics, rather than in hospitals.  Until the law was changed, without a physician present, Medi-Cal would not pay the cost for their treatment. [Our shtetl San Diego County column by Donald H. Harrison]

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Donald H. Harrison, Lifestyles, San Diego County, Science, Medicine, & Education

How not to make C-Virus worse than it is

What’s Covid-19 Got to Do With Feeling Anxious? Nothing. What? Nothing? Are you serious? “Ever since this COVID19 earthquake hit, I’ve been a nervous wreck,” said a client in a first session, by phone of course. So, I’ll ask again, as I asked this new client, riddled with anxiety, “What’s the COVID19 got to do with what you’re feeling?” And, so began his transformative journey to calm, peace and tranquility in the face of a coronacopia of life upending matters related to COVID19. [Michael Mantell, Ph.D]

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Lifestyles, Michael Mantell

Council candidate tells of being Cheney’s gatekeeper

Attorney Joe Leventhal, who is seeking election in the 5th San Diego City Council District, once served as a “gatekeeper” for U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney, deciding what memos should go to him, which should first be vetted by others, and reading his proposed speeches for accuracy.  It was a pretty heady job for a young lawyer, just 26 years old.  Previously having served on the staff of U.S. Rep. Tim Johnson (R-Illinois), he had observed then that “Washington at the highest levels of government is actually run by all of these folks under 40, even under 30 — the Administration, Capitol Hill, even at the Supreme Court. [Our Shtetl San Diego County column by Donald H. Harrison]

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Donald H. Harrison, Jewish Religion, Lifestyles, San Diego County, USA