Lawrence Baron

Rudy Giuliani finally recognized that admitting the crimes the president is accused of is not a good legal strategy.  Therefore, he is concocting more subtle ways of conveying to foreign leaders that they should investigate Joe Biden and his son Hunter for corruption.  Here’s a draft for a future call he plans to make to the Chinese Embassy. (To read more of this satirical column, please click the headline.)

Foecabulary: Donald’s Dictionary of Demonization By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO−Donald Trump released the latest edition of his Dictionary of Demonization. Here’s some of the new entries: Spy=a whistleblower who follows protocol in filing a report. Presidential Harassment=Constitutional Congressional Oversight over the Executive Branch. Perfect=Incriminating. Scum=Fake News wasn’t sufficiently polarizing. Coup=Impeachment Inquiry. Favor=Extortion. A Civil War

Please impeach him for all his sins.
I’ve grown tired of his “wins.”
Nancy waited much too long
To avoid offending MAGA throngs.

This is the first time I am residing with a Jewish family that celebrates what I think is called the High Collie Days.  I’m not exactly sure what that entails, but I want to fit in.  Tomorrow night is Sleek Coat, and, I definitely have one.  People recite prayers and readings about forgiveness.  I might skip it because I haven’t attacked any dogs, bit any humans, or scared any people in the past year. 

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO−Donald Trump: “The [energy efficient] bulbs that we’re being forced to use – number one, to me, most importantly, the light is no good. I always look orange.” No, the lights in your tanning booth make you look orange, President Raccoon Eyes!” * Donald Trump: “Saudi Arabia oil supply was attacked. 

I heard this week that the Golden Deceiver fired John Bolton.  What did he expect when he appointed Bolton?  From my own experience, I don’t want to be near two alpha dogs when they are in the same room.  The biting, the growling, and the marking of territory guarantee that eventually one of them is going to send his rival packing with his legs between his tail or, in Bolton’s case, under his moustache.   

On Monday President Trump told reporters: “I don’t want to allow people that weren’t supposed to be in the Bahamas to come into the United States, including some very bad people and some very bad gang members and some very, very bad drug dealers.”  The seeds of his 2020 stump speech have been planted.  Here’s our forecast of what he’ll say.

Donald Trump’s Endvironmentalism By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO- At the recent G7 meeting, Donald Trump claimed, “I’m an environmentalist.” Was the term he actually uttered “endvironmentalist?”  Here’s a fact check. * The G7 devoted a session to climate change and decided to partially fund the effort to extinguish the fires in the Amazon.  Trump neither