Humoring the Headlines: March 1, 2014

By Laurie Baron

Lawrence (Laurie) Baron
Lawrence (Laurie) Baron

SAN DIEGO — The Tea Party celebrated its fifth anniversary.  It held its commemorative dinner at McDonald’s to demonstrate the Party’s commitment to fiscal conservatism and opposition to the nanny state.    When no one offered to pay the bill, the attendees refused to recognize the authority of the police to force them to pay.
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Mt. Gox, an issuer of the internet currency Bitcoin, went bankrupt.  Users of the currency are speculating whether it was mismanagement, hacking, or the first big success of the Nigerian email scam which felled the company.  The Obama Administration has recommended that American citizens who lost their fortunes apply for virtual food stamps.
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The Arizona legislature is considering a law that would mandate surprise inspections of abortion clinics.  Though touted as a way to protect women from unsafe abortions, critics of the bill say it is likely to induce spontaneous abortions. All this is occurring only days after Governor Jan Brewer terminated the life of the Religious Freedom Act before its first trimester.
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After ousting President Viktor Yanukovych, the new Ukrainian government opened up his ornate mansion on the outskirts of Kiev to the public.  While Yanukovych claims he is still the legitimate president of his country, there are rumors that he is negotiating with Mel Brooks to play the role of Louis XVI in the remake of History of the World, Part I.
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Russian lawmakers have approved the use of force to reinstate President Viktor Yanukovych back into power. No new legislation had to be created.  They merely changed the name of the country being invaded from Czechoslovakia to Ukraine and the dates from 1968 to 2014.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com

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