Humoring the headlines: March 16, 2017

The Obama Conspiracy against Trump

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO−Donald Trump was visiting Jared and Ivanka.  As he walked past the bedroom of his granddaughter, he overheard Ivanka reading The Borrowers to his granddaughter.  He immediately tweeted, “Just found out that Obama dispatched tiny people to live in the walls and under the floors of Trump Tower and spy on me.  This dwarfs Watergate!”

*

A Hawaiian federal judge has blocked Donald Trump’s travel ban from taking effect.  Just as Trump expected, Hawaii isn’t really part of the United States.  It is controlled by Kenya.  Is this the same judge who authenticated Obama’s birth certificate?

*

Obama created the “deep state” to subvert Trump’s Presidency.  That is why making deep cuts in the State Department is a matter of national security.

*

Obama intended the Affordable Health Care Act to hook Americans on health care.  He anticipated that Paul Ryan and his cronies would try to dismantle the system once he was elected President inciting the health-care addicted masses to oppose its repeal.  This was all done to make Trump’s first one-hundred days less productive than Obama’s first one-hundred days.

*

Obama and crooked Hillary deliberately antagonized Trump’s BFF Vladimir Putin by claiming 5,000,000 former KGB agents voted illegally for him and by imposing sanctions on Russia under the pretext that too many of its soldiers were visiting Crimea and Eastern Ukraine as tourists.  This prompted Putin to hack the DNC and disseminate incriminating emails via WikiLeaks.  Members of the Trump campaign team met in vain with Russian officials to stop the hacking and leaking which fostered the erroneous impression they were colluding with the Russians.

*

Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com   San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.