By Rabbi Leonard Rosenthal
SAN DIEGO — After receiving last week’s D’var Torah about hamantaschen, my son, Rabbi Adam Rosenthal, emailed me noting that I was already avoiding dealing with the text of Leviticus, which is primarily concerned with the laws of animal sacrifices, in my weekly column. Since I am on a streak, why break it now?
This Saturday is Shabbat HaGadol, the Great Sabbath, the Shabbat before Passover. I will again put Leviticus aside to share instead some thoughts about the Haggadah’s Four Children.
The Haggadah notes that the Torah alludes to four children: one Wise, one rebellious, one simple, and one too young to ask. Parents are instructed to respond to each child according to their attitude and ability to understand.
In “My People’s Passover Haggadah,” a multi-voiced commentary on the haggadah, Wendy I. Zierler writes, “The use of the word k’neged (The Torah ‘alludes”) is noteworthy in that it connotes opposition as well as correspondence. The word magid (the telling) comes from the same word root, n.g.d, indicating that a proper telling of the Exodus story requires a group of people who share certain values but occasionally disagree. The four types of children specified in the Haggadah themselves demonstrate patterns of correspondence and opposition.” (P. 210)
It is interesting to note that of these four children present at the seder, two are active and two are passive. The Simple child and the One Too Young to Ask are passive. They are more observers than participants. They watch what is going on and try to understand, but demonstrate no deep level of attachment, understanding, or passion.
Though their attitudes about the seder are diametrically opposed, the Wise child and the Rebellious child are active and engaged. Even though the Rebellious child scorns the ritual (“‘What is this service to you?’-‘you’ and not himself”), s/he cares enough about the the seder to argue about it. He sits through a ritual s/he claims to disdain. S/he engages in conversation, albeit a negative and trying one.
The Rebellious child seems to hate the seder. However, as has often been said, the opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference.
While “rebellious” Jews can be taxing on our patience, they pose much less of a threat to the future of the Jewish community than indifferent Jews. While there are some Jews who completely reject Judaism, there is an even larger number of Jews who just don’t care. They don’t belong to synagogues, they don’t attend High Holy Day services, they don’t contribute to the Federation or Jewish causes, and they don’t support Israel, and they don’t feel guilty about it! These are the Jews who not even know when Passover begins, much less celebrate with a seder or family holiday meal.
How do we attract indifferent Jews and bring them into the fold? I don’t know. I have spent a lifetime and a career trying to figure it out. I can have a conversation with a person who finds Judaism antiquated, distasteful, or even racist. But it’s hard to have a conversation with someone who just doesn’t care.
It is time to rehabilitate the image of the rebellious child at the Passover seder. Far from “setting his teeth on edge” or rebuking him as the haggadah recommends, we should welcome and engage this child. Who knows? We may be able to persuade him or her that Passover in particular, and Judaism, in general, can lend meaning and purpose to life.
We may be able to convince him to sit on the wise instead of the rebellious side of the table. And even if we don’t, sometimes it is the rebellious child who asks the most interesting questions, or does the most to help us question and then reaffirm our own faith and belief.
Judy and I wish you and all those you love a very happy, sweet, and kosher Passover.
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Rabbi Rosenthal is spiritual leader of Tifereth Israel Synagogue. He may be contacted via leonard.rosenthal@sdjewishworld.com