By Laurie Baron
The Attorney General of New York has filed a 40 million dollar lawsuit against Donald Trump University for promoting itself as a real university. An inquiry into the Pass/Fail grading system revealed that P stood for profit maker and F for fired. The Attorney General has questioned whether Gary Busey was qualified to serve as the university’s admissions officer. Speaking to reporters, Busey wondered, “How smart do you have to be to check if someone’s birth certificate was issued in the United States?” The Attorney General is also conducting a related investigation into the Donald Trump School of Hairstyling.
The British House of Commons rejected a proposal to launch a reprisal attack against Syria for its use of chemical weapons citing empire fatigue. After all British colonization of Aden, Egypt, India, Pakistan, Rhodesia, South Africa, and the Mandate of Palestine didn’t end well.
What would happen if Martin Luther King’s 1963 March on Washington were held in North Carolina today.? About the one-hundred thousand marchers would get detained for wearing hoodies. Another 100,000 would not be permitted to attend for failing to show government issued photo IDs. University students will be advised to watch the event on television in their hometowns. Women will have to undergo trans-vaginal ultrasounds. Those that are pregnant will be barred from the demonstration since witnessing it might harm their fetuses.
As part of his ongoing therapy, Bob Filner is required to watch The Butler and Mississippi Burning every time he compares the recall campaign against him to a lynch mob. His final jab at the press was “now you won’t have Bob Filner to lick around.”
Fast food workers have started their Labor Day vacations early. If their strike fails, they plan to introduce legislation changing the date of Labor Day to May First.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted at lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com
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