By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO─ President Obama told George Stephanopoulos that he felt like a dinged-up used car and that the voters would be looking for a new model in 2016. Picking up on his car analogy, many Republicans hope he will be recalled before the next election.
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The new Lammily doll is less attractive, plumper, and shorter than a Barbie doll to look more like an average American woman. She also comes with press-on decals to put acme on her face and stretch marks on her abdomen. Toy safety groups have warned that playing with her private parts can give children STDs.
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To counter the demonstrations in Ferguson, Missouri after a Grand Jury failed to indict Officer Darren Wilson, President Obama has proclaimed the day after Thanksgiving Black Friday and issued an administrative order forbidding the police to engage in unwarranted arrests, harassment, and violence against African-American males in observance of the new holiday.
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Star Burton will soon marry Charles Manson. The prison where Manson is incarcerated will serve them a turkey dinner for Thanksgiving, but won’t let Manson carve the turkey. Afterwards, the couple will be allowed to watch the heartwarming culinary classic Silence of the Lambs.
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Senator Lindsey Graham called the new House report exonerating the government of any wrongdoing during the Benghazi incident “a bunch of crap.” He then lectured the President Obama about his lack of civility in his relations with Congressional Republicans.
Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com . San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.