By Rabbi Leonard Rosenthal
(Eulogy delivered Monday, Feb. 9, 2015 at El Camino Cemetery, San Diego)
SAN DIEGO — According to legend a certain Aran, jealous of Ibn Gabriol’s genius and accomplishments, killed him in a fit of jealousy and buried his body secretly beneath a tree. The legend continues that sometime after, people began to notice that a fig tree in the garden of the Arab was bearing a particularly large luscious fruit, like none that grew elsewhere. Curiosity was aroused, the tree was dug up in order to discover the secret of its remarkable fertility. Then it was discovered that Ibn Gabriol was buried there.
The legend teaches in a symbolic fashion, an important lesson about life. Our lives are riper, fuller and more fruitful when they are rooted in the lives of good and righteous men and women, in soil which is enriched by deeds of loving kindness and mercy. All of life becomes lovelier when it is watered by streams of memory, and fed by the cool springs of recollection and remembrance. Memories of a life of goodness, of generosity, of family experiences enjoyed in common, are woven into the fabric of life, and are a blessing to us which remains to the very end of our days.
And it is such memories that we have of Marc Allen Rose, known in Hebrew as Yitzchak Meir ben Nisan Leib, who died on Shabbat (Feb. 7, 2015) at the age of 77. Marc not only accepted life as good, but tried to make it better.
Born in Philadelphia on Sept. 17, 1938, he grew up in Austin, Texas. He arrived there at the age of 4,and didn’t leave until after college. Over the years, he shared lots of stories about his childhood with his own family.
His parents didn’t have much money. so he did everything on his own, working since the age of 12. He was a hard worker, who went and paid for college on his own. He was the only person in his family who went to college. He graduated from the University of Texas at Austin, which he fiercely referred to as “The University” throughout his life. His major was Business Administration, and wherever he went, he was proud of being a Texax.
Also at “The University” his romance with Ruthlee began. They had actually met before then when he was the president of his AZA chapter. Ruthlee thought he was kind of full of himself.
When both were attending college, her friend Don Goldfarb encouraged her to out. She did, and quickly changed her mind about Marc. She told me that Marc had a wonderful attitude about everything,,
She said he had a nice way about him, that he worked hard to be successful. He was a good, hard worker, and a mensch, who considered other people, and never put himself first. He was always helping others. This is what people recalled about him during his entire life. Kindness and generosity were at the core of his character and personality.
They were engaged, and were married a year later. They would celebrate 54 years together. Soon, Michael, now married to Robin, and Melissa were born.
During and after his studies at The University, Marc worked in furniture stores and factories, and rose to a corporate position. When he came to San Diego, he opened stores.
Next, he opened his own store, which he operated for seven years or so. There were wonderful memories from when he had his store. His kids played in back with the carpet rolls, climbing on thing, and even today, the smell of a furniture store brings back to them some wonderful memories.
Marc and Ruthlee were devoted to each other. Each took care of the other. Like all couples had their ups and downs, good times and bad times, but their relationship was based on love and total commitment.
Not that they didn’t disagree. Sometimes they disagreed a lot and quite strongly, but love was always there. I especially saw this when Ruthlee was recently in hospital. it was a period of four months in the hospital & rehab before she came home. He was there everything single day. He was there to make sure she got better.
This was not new behavior for Marc: his own mother had a bad stoke when he was 8 years old. There was no money to hire help, so Marc took care of her. He read to her and taught her how to speak again. He helped his mom rehabilitate.
Marc loved family. He was an only child, who always wanted to have siblings. So when he married Ruthlee, her sister and brother became his own. They are here today honor him.
He was a great dad and grandfather. His children and grandchildren brought him joy. He was very loving and caring for Michael and Melissa. He recognized that each of his children had a different personality and so he had a unique relationship with each. Michael told me that his Dad had a type-A personality. He was disciplined, whereas Michael was not, and that tested Marc’s patience. Michael recalled, with fondness, his father’s statement “Never let it be said that Michael’s college education got in way of having good time.”
Melissa was very organized, but took her time. So people had to have a lot of patience with her. Marc rarely lost patience with kids. He was not a blow-up dad; he treated his children differently because he recognized that they were indeed different.
Marc had a close relationship with his grandchildren–Cameron, Max, Jenna, Evan. Even with with his heath and the distance between San Diego and their home in Los Angeles, he came to their sporting events, birthday parties, celebrations. He loved every part of his family. He was proud of being a grandfather. He always made an extra effort to be with them. Cameron goes to “NuJew” in Los Angeles. They had “generations day” to which grandparents come. Cameron asked if they were coming, but originally he wasn’t going to ask. But when he did, no problem, Marc came up, only two weeks ago.
He sheltered and protected his children, and never wanted them to lack anything. When Marc or Ruthlee disagreed or finances tight, the kids never knew. They went to summer camps, and Melissa made a USY trip to Israel.
Marc had lots of friends. People were attracted to him because he was such a nice guy. A real mensch. He had a very defined vision of right and wrong, and stood up for people. He was always looking out for others. If all he had was the shirt on his back, and you needed it, he would give it to you.
Marc treasured his friends; they were very important to him. Everyone who met him felt immediately at ease. People felt wanted and loved. He was genuine and never phony in his relationships. Some of his friends he knew for over 40 years. For example, he was good friends with Ernie and Ellen Addelson since Texas. He had many lifetime friends. People really loved him.
He was a good communicator, and very funny. Sometimes his family didn’t know if the words he used came from his vast and incredible grasp of English, or if he was just making them up. “Rosims” they called them, like the word “chalupa” which he said meant “wreck.” Like a “chalupa” of a car. He said it was Yiddish, though I couldn’t find it. He could be so funny with that great sense of humor. Not the usual funny, his humor was off the cuff, sharp, and always in good taste. Sharp, quick.
He loved reading and walking. He found new places in town to go for walks. He walked the dog. He loved movies, going out to dinner. He was very social; he liked being able to entertain.
Marc & Ruthlee traveled everywhere. Italy Israel, Russia. For their 50th Anniversary, they went from the Mediterranean to Russia. They took a roots tour in Texas, when they went back to Austin. He used to call California his land of milk and honey.
I knew Marc from Tifereth Israel Synagogue. Originally he and Ruthlee were members of Beth Tefillah, until it closed and then they came to Tifereth. He came to services, always happy, always smiling, always friendly.
*
San Diego Jewish World’s eulogy series is sponsored by Marc and Margaret Cohen in memory of Mollie Cohen and by Inland Industries Group LP in memory of long-time San Diego Jewish community leader Marie (Mrs. Gabriel) Berg. Rabbi Rosenthal is spiritual leader of Tifereth Israel Synagogue in San Diego. Your comments and tributes may be posted in the space provided below.