By Laurie Baron
FALMOUTH, United Kingdom -Ted Cruz named Carly Fiorina his running mate because she is even more unlikable than him. After he introduced her at a rally, he did not notice when she fell off the stage replicating the response of most Americans when she withdrew from the presidential race earlier this year.
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Now that it seems certain Donald Trump will be the Republican nominee for president, he is acting more presidential. Consequently, he accused Hillary Clinton of playing the woman card because playing the man card has worked for every president until now.
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Former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert has confessed to sexually molesting teenage boys when he was a high school wrestling coach. After serving his 15 month prison sentence, he plans to atone by becoming a Catholic priest.
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British Labor Party leader Jeremy Corbyn has been under heavy pressure to purge Labor Party MPs whose extreme criticisms of Israel have been deemed anti-Semitic. He has already dismissed 3 MPs and issued a manual about how to talk about Israel under the title “The Protocols of the Slanderers of Zion.”
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UN Secretary General denounced military attacks on hospitals as a war crime. Bernie Sanders denounced political attacks on his promise of universal health care as a social crime.
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Baron, professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University, currently is traveling in Europe. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.