By Rabbi David Kornberg
SAN DIEGO — Early on Shabbat morning, our Carmel Valley community was rocked with a tragedy of unprecedented scope. A 15 year old student at Torrey Pines High School called police officers to himself in the early hours of the morning. When they arrived he drew an airsoft gun and aimed it at the officers. They shot and killed him, and, from that moment, our quiet neighborhood was changed.
I have spoken to many in the last two days, and the anguish over this event is overwhelming. How is it is possible that someone so young could feel such pain that they would chose to end their life in this way? Where was the help that could have saved him from being there that night? The impact that is being felt by his actions in that one short moment have rippled out and deeply touched so many. His family is now faced with an incredibly painful process of trying to make sense of what happened, and his friends will be dealing similar thoughts. There are many in the larger community who did not know him, but they too are struggling to try and face the emotions that have risen up in them and their children. Add to that the two officers who have had to make the second most costly sacrifice we ask them to make and respond to what was intended to be perceived as a threat to their lives with deadly force. They now need to live with the burden of having to shoot. One moment has changed so many forever.
I am writing this today to remind us all of the Jewish imperative to not stand idly by when our neighbor is hurting. We as a community must not only find ways to help those who are in pain from this incident, but to also commit ourselves to not being a bystander when we see, hear or learn of someone who is in such pain that they think about ending their lives. There are resources available to help those who need it. First and foremost, there is information for parents and trained counselors who can speak to those who are hurting at http://up2sd.org/young-adults/. The crisis line is (888) 724-7240. If we know someone who needs help, it is our obligation not to turn away.
Secondly, I have been speaking with a large number of people in the community and will continue to be available to talk to anyone who needs to work through their feelings over this incident. Finally, I encourage parents to speak with their teens about this. They are all talking to one another, and it is important for us to be part of that conversation (even if they do not seem like they want us to be).
What happened last Saturday morning was a tragedy in every way possible. May God help us to ensure that, through our efforts, it never happens again.
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Rabbi Kornberg is spiritual leader at Congregation Beth Am in San Diego.