By good deeds, father- in- law was known

(c) Oliver B. Pollak

Oliver Pollak

RICHMOND, California — Joseph Goldstein, born in Winnipeg in 1915, married Reva Atkin in Toronto in 1939. They moved to Los Angeles in 1948. They had two children, Karen, and Marty of blessed memory. Joe was a furrier and Reva worked for Prudential. They owned a house, went on vacation every summer, helped put their two children through college, and helped other people. For a while Reva’s mother Rhoda lived with them. She died of cancer in 1956. Marty died of brain cancer in 1983. In 1983 they moved to Leisure World in Laguna Woods. Reva died of cancer in 1990. Joe lived to the age 87, spent his last month in Omaha, dying of cancer in 2002. We lay stones on their East Los Angeles and Burbank graves. This three-generation family cancer history worries Karen. my wife of 52 years.

Joe’s banker box contained financial statements, insurance, medical reports, and tax returns from the 1980s to 1990s. Karen looked at them at 11:30 pm in bed. She sneezed and coughed because of the dust and insisted on shredding because of the social security number. We don’t want identity theft. She asked, “Are you going to write a story about this.” I responded “no.”

In the clearer light of morning I saw a story and jotted down some notes. In April 2018, almost 1 ½ years after moving from the Reddest Midwest to the Bluest West coast, still unpacking boxes, organizing the garage, and rearranging books I found a red Laguna Hills World Saving box with checks and two check registers, 1995 to 2001. World Savings became Wachovia and then Wells Fargo. Most checks went for car insurance, house cleaning, dentist, credit card, utilities, and subscriptions to Leisure World News, Los Angeles Times, Readers Digests, Time, and Publishers Clearing House.

Joe and Reva responded to the appeal and plight of others. Karen says her Dad had a “soft spot for everybody.” We joked that Joe was a predatory phone bank and mail solicitation victim. He donated to about 40 causes, most checks were between $10 and $25.

No knock on the door, no corner solicitors, no email. Joe could not say no. Contributing fit into his budget, made him feel good, brought him joy. Did he decline any requests? Yes, after Karen placed herself on the account she asked him to consult her before writing checks. Karen asked some solicitors to stop mailing and calling him for requests for money, an arduous and hit and miss procedure as “unsubscribe” is today. The Charity Navigator website rates charity efficiency and overhead expenses. Some donations were off the books, such as cash to the bell ringing Salvation Army red kettle at Christmas time.

Joe, a Democrat, donated to Adam Schiff for Congress, Diane Feinstein, Feinstein 2000, Democratic National Committee, DNC, California Democratic Fund, and Clinton Gore. Like my mother he had “signed” photographs of Bill and Hilary Clinton in the White House. We continued to get solicitation letters in Omaha. The most improbable posthumous solicitation came in 2009, from Ron Paul.

Public spirited liberal causes included two donations to Handgun Control, Coalition to Stop Gun Violence, Council for Government Reform, Public Citizen, California Common Cause, The Senior Coalition, American Civil Liberties Union twice in March, and No New Taxes, and National Taxpayers Union.

Joe attended Temple Judea in Leisure World which received the largest amount of any of the charities. He donated to The World Jewish Congress, Anti-Defamation League, Simon Wiesenthal Center, B’nai B’rith, a one-time donation not a membership, and Teaching Tolerance.

Health advocacy, cancer and children were close to Joe’s heart. He contributed twice to the American Breast Cancer Foundation, National Children’s [Joe did not use apostrophes] Cancer Society, and National Cancer Coalition. He gave to The Cancer Center, American Foundation for Disabled Children, Alzheimer’s Disease Research, Easter Seal Society, Easter Seal sweepstake, Diabetes Research and Wellness Foundation, ZEN Hospice Project, Disabled American Veterans, and Paralyzed Veterans of America.

Other beneficiaries were Habitat for Humanity, National Park Trust, American Red Cross. Sometimes he made a second donation a few days later. Had he forgotten that he already donated, did he get a second solicitation, did he think he hadn’t given enough. He donated twice to The Fire Victims Fund and the North Shore Animal League.

Mementos of life are what we save filtered by what our heirs decide to retain. I wonder if the third generation grandchildren will appreciate Joe’s bowling pins, softball, and checkbook box.

Joe had the sports gene. He loved bowling and softball, and sat for hours in his recliner with his pipe (until verboten) listening to baseball games. His checks included Leisure World Bowling League, Los Amigos Bowling League, East Coast Bowling League, Dutch Wells League, Forest Lanes Bowling, Senior Bowling Party, and United States Olympic Committee. Team buddy suggestions count for something. Guys do discuss and recommend favorite charities and whose political campaign to contribute to; “Is this an ok guy?”

Devoted to family and friends he sent ‘happy birthday’ checks to his two grandsons. To Melissa he wrote ‘enjoy your graduation be well’.  Bar Mitzvahs and wedding couples received checks. Joe purchased at least three rolls of 32 cent stamps, $96.

There were no checks to City of Hope, Sierra Club, or American Heart Association. Joe and Reva established a scholarship fund at Sonoma State University English Department in memory of their son Marty, occasionally receiving ‘Thank you’ letters from grateful students. We supplement the fund every December. A 2000 dollar is $1.46 in 2018. Most our donations are done on line.

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Oliver B. Pollak is a freelance writer in Richmond.  He may be contacted via oliver.pollak@sdjewishworld.com